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“In the mili seconds of that exchange “ © cali lili ; thank you little girl i hope you are well

 

©Cali Lili™

All Rights Reserved

 

In the Miliseconds of that Exchange

©Cali Lili™ 

All Rights Reserved

I never played “Bride” when I was a kid.

In addition to witnessing my parents’ horrendous marriage, and the “male dominance” under which my Mom continues to struggle with a “cheery lying lilt” in her voice, I had noticed that no matter how young a woman is, she becomes (in varying degrees) socially/ professionally “invisible” once she is “in a relationship,” “taken” and – especially when she is “married.”

Ever since I was a precocious teenager, I noticed that – no matter how young she is, when a young woman is no longer “fuckable” … she simply ceases to “exist” in certain social / business settings.

This phenomenon manifests itself in various obvious and not-so-obvious ways.

It also manifests itself for “femme” women, when partnered with either “butch” lesbian partners, or with a male oriented or “butch” business partner, simply by virtue of her ”femme” perspective.

One of the surprising ways, is … when one is engaged in a “social” discussion, whether it be at a party, a business meeting, or a “chance” encounter at the grocery store, the “male” or “butch” partner in the relationship, whether it be a personal or business partnership – (especially when it is both) – is generally the more “actively sought” participant in the conversation exchange.

It’s a Power thang.

When the “femme” speaks, it’s not quite as “authoritative,” her offerings to the conversation, are often politely swept away / not considered a “serious” contribution to the conversation, or ignored, brushed and rushed into a changed subject.

I understand this with “older” people, but it is most odd, when it takes place in the presence of young men / guys / lesbians in my age group.

It’s difficult to notice, without having experienced it yourself.

Many would consider it “oversensitive” or worse … a “Feminist” interpretation of “no big deal.”

I’ve dealt with it in various ways, and I am super-lucky to have had a partner who actually SEES it, but the worst aspect of this insidious social wormhole, is, it’s very invisibility.

My current Indie Feature Film and Album deal with various aspects of this topic through my work/art, but the phenomenon still takes place in “real life.”

eVe n’ god™this female is not yet rated™

 Cali Lili Oscars 2020 contender 

My recent experience during the Holidays, not only affirmed, the presence of this phenomena, but also left me in a dumbstruck awe.

I recognize this is one of those “you had to be there,” stories, but I am sharing it, in the hopes that it provides some solace / inspiration / warmth to anybody out there who might need “proof” of this phenomena in her/his own life/partnership.

During the “Holiday Season,” we were busily “gathering” fun items from a Health Food Store.

My Partner was approached by a man and struck up a conversation. At one point in the conversation, they shook hands.

As is the norm , my Partner, introduced me to the man,
whom not only barely acknowledged my comment, except for a quick glance at my face/body in that “checking me out” way – before attempting to return to the conversation, but also, he did not shake my hand. This is not unusual.

Somewhere in the milliseconds of that exchange, both my Partner and I noticed and remarked upon the adorableness of the adorable little girl who was holding the hand of that man.

She was his daughter, or granddaughter, and she was clearly championing victory in her adorable life in the face of some form of health challenge (it was either Downs Syndrome, or something else) but she was literally “Glowing” with beauty, goodness, kindness and just plain “little-girlness.”

Well, somewhere in the milliseconds of that exchange, this adorable little girl, either read my mind, (carefully disguised under the folds of “Social Propriety / Politeness”) or she was simply on the same “feminist” wavelength,

– and then –

She powerfully grabbed hold of her grandfather/ fathers’ hand, and pulled him, – and his hand-shake hand …. toward my hand …

She gently picked up my hand … and brought our hands together … patching into the millisecond of that exchange ….

She formed a proper hand-shake, between his hand and mine, equally matching the hand-shake this man had offered to my “butch”/male oriented Partner.

She looked at me with the kind of beaming twinkle I am often blessed to experience around kids and babies, but her beam of light spoke volumes, as the flabbergasted, chagrined expression on her father/ grandfathers’ face displayed.

He was schooled and she was the teacher.

I was the grateful recipient of an amazing Holiday Gift.

Both my Partner and her father/grandfather stood in the awe and, in witness.

We all came away from the milliseconds of that exchange … quite changed.

And ready for a new year.

________________

 


Truli,
Cali
Cali Lili Indies™
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Humanity Must Grow
As Sophisticated
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Meditations On Days Of eVe™ :

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this Female is Not Yet Rated™

A Conversation, Long Overdue™

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Meditations On :

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this Female is Not Yet Rated™

A Conversation, Long Overdue™

We Don’t FALL in LOVE We RISE ™

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybFeysEAHtk

Welcome To

The Cali Lili Indies™

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FeMtO™StudiO

Is A

FeMPoWorD™

UpCyCled

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Cutting Edge Of The Pacific™

~ ~ ~

In spite of having earned

My Masters’ Degree from NYU

At an Impossibly Young Age,

I am Still

“A Wild Child With a Scholarship,”

Saved from an abusive childhood

By Knowing at an early age

That I am An Artist.

Saved Also

By my Teachers, who are Angels.

Blessed with Mixed Heritage,

I’m a MultiCultural “Island Girl,”

So

My idea was to Create

An ”Island”

At The Cutting Edge Of The Pacific™

+

Um …

At The Cutting Edge Of “Hollywood.”

An Island

Where my Art could be “Borne”

With “A Little Help From My Friends.”

An Island from which I could

“Launch”

Out Onto the “Waves”

From a Voice Aching to Sing

Ever Since I was that kid

With nowhere to go.

An Island where I could

Do the work

Of a 21st Century Artist,

Telling Stories For Human Rights :

Civil Rights, LGBT Rights, Womens’ Rights,

An Island where I could work with

Like Minded Artists + Tech Specialists

Then Share The Work

With YOU.

My Awesome Team + i

SO APPRECIATE

Your Follows, Likes, Shares, and Support

We Are

Totally Indie

+

Grassroots

We Are = We The People

And

We Believe in YOU !

Welcome To My Island,

Like All Of My Projects,

My FeMtO™StudiO

is

Hand Made, To Make A Difference™

When I decided to dedicate

My Talent, Education, Career, Time + Work

To Creating Socially Responsive™

Films, Music + Books

I outlined a Vision Statement

Based on my book

“Declaration Of IndiePendence™”

The “Foundation” for

Cali Lili Indies™

Built On what is essentially

My “SurfShackRaft™”

On a TINY Patch Of The Pacific

(We have a separate Rehearsal Space : )

Both Are Custom Built

From

Upcycled + Recycled Materials

An Eco-Friendly Green Studio.

When I moved to LA from NYC

I was told by more than one “Producer”

That Actresses shouldn’t be “Smart.”

I was offered “Blonde” Roles

Some of which I attempted to

Instill with something more than “Blonde,”

But Many were

Roles I did not wish to Portray

To My Global Sisters.

One Very Powerful Producer

Is Known to Have Proclaimed

(I’m Paraphrasing 🙂

“The Only Good Women In Film,

Are Dead Or Naked.”

Another Producer

Told me that “Art” was

A “dirty word” in the Entertainment Industry.

My Path has always been

All Out Rock N’ Roll : )

So it’s not as though I expected to do things

“The Normal Way”

(if there is such a thing).

Right Out of School

I formed A Co-Production Deal

With An Academy Award Winning Producer,

Allegedly known for “working with women.”

Nice Guy for the most part,

He Believed In my Talent

But throughout our dealings

He Always Told me :

“You Have Too Much Power In This Deal.”

Yikes.

I soon realized,

I Was Being Nudged

Toward My Path.

A Place where “Power” + “Art” for Women

Are Not Dirty Words.

I am guided by the Love + Dedication

Embodied in the Following Phrase :

We Don’t Fall In Love, We Rise™

Truli,

Cali
~ ~ ~

Dream About A Dream, About A Dream ™

by ©Cali Lili 2011, 2014

I Listen

To the Speeches of Dr. King

I Listen

To The Voice of Martin Luther King Jr.

Because I love Great Music.

The Force and Lift of this Great Man’s Words,

This Great Man’s Spirit,

His Voice,

Undeniable.

The Great Mind of this Great Man,

Eternal.

Mother Earth

Is forever Blessed With our Fortune,

Martin Luther King Jr. Lives

Among us,

Still

Loves us,

So very much.

So,

One day,

I had a Dream Too.

A Dream,

About A Dream,

About A Dream.

In that Dream, I heard the word : “Woman”

Spoken,

In that Great,

Voice,

The Voice of Justice.

“She” is Equal

In the Voice,Equal to “Man” and “Mankind.”

“She” is “Woman”

And Also

“She” Embodies

The Multiplicity of LGBT

The Blossoming Of Every Gender

Under The Civil Rights Rainbow™

“She” Bridges

“She” Completes the “HerStory”

In “HiStory”

Thus Embracing “Femme” in Every One.

I heard the words : “Sisters” … and “SisterHood,”

Equal,

To the words “Brother” and “BrotherHood,”

Celebrating Every Gender Identity

On a Never Ending Spectrum

Of Love Equals Love …

I Listen

To the Speeches of Dr. King

And I know

That I hear him right.

~ ~ ~
Designed Especially For the #IndieFilm :

Love Story In Spirals & Triangles™

A New Avenue in #Pride #Jewelry with HerStory

http://calililiindies.tumblr.com/post/63690369440/lovestoryinspirals-triangles-tm-pridejewelry-lgbt

Humanity Must Grow As Sophisticated

As Technology Or We Lose Both™

URGENT OPEN LETTER :

Humanity Must Grow

As Sophisticated

As Technology

Or We Lose Both™

The Very Same Problems

That Plague Civilizations

Globally + Throughout History,

All Stem

From The Suppression of Our Humanity

By The Prophets of Profit.

Well,

It’s time for a FeMPoWrd™ Economy

And It’s time For Some HerStory in History

Listen Up,

Your Mother Earth is Talking!

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eVe n’ god™this Female is Not Yet Rated™

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INTERVIEW BEGINS at : 11:04 U can Fast Forward thru it ~>

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4 The 1GlobalGirl™ … in EVERY1™

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