I raised my hand a lot in grade school. Didn’t always know the answer but so pumped engaging on the questions. One day, I found myself in the hallway with the teacher explaining that my class-mates were bullying me because they were jealous. Jealous? Of me? “WHY would ANYONE be jealous of me?”
Raising my hand was a symptom of raising myself, surviving an abusive home, so my self esteem wasn’t always strong. I guess my hand raised in class was a plea to the multiverse, a signal for some lifeguard somewhere that I wanted to learn. To swim, not drown.
“Never stop raising your hand” my teacher said in a fervent, personal way. Even at that young age I understood someone must have laughed at her, tried to thwart her. She was warning me never to give in to the bullies as I would only betray myself. Her kindness and humanity, her warning about never limiting my own “possibility,” her willingness to be vulnerable yet strong were the underlying lessons.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’ve been skipped grades and I’m the youngest kid in high school. Now I’m summoned to the principals’ office. Never been in any principals’ office, like, EVER. He’s yelling at me. My offense? I got accepted into early enrollment for University. I’m skipping the last years of high school, the diploma and the prom because University is offering me full scholarship. This principal guy is yelling at me because his school is “losing money” due to my leaving early. WTF.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’m still raising my hand.
Dear 117th Congress ,
Beloved President Biden & Vice President Kamala Harris
And
Everyone who cares about Art, Democracy, Civilization and Beef.
SUBJECT :
Earth Day
Rescuing Independent Artists,
An Endangered Species,
(like Democracy)
from the
Gentrification Of Culture
President Biden described America in one word : POSSIBILITY. I’m addressing you because I believe we have succumbed to a dominance/superiority based bully culture thwarting our possibility.
DISTRIBUTION of Movies is Like BEEF
It may seem odd, but I’m referencing Senator Jon Testers’ Montana bill, protecting small meat producers from the monopoly of mega-distributors here. Obstruction & lack of fairness in distribution opportunities for independent artists is oddly similar to that of beef/food. This also reeks from our nations’ dependence on oil and victimization at the hands of conservative obstructionism including the supremacist misogyny, racism & homophobia on display in the current state of the so-called Supreme Court.
Like Ben Franklin, influenced by the “Enlightenment,” we can push back the Dark Ages by unlocking that forbidden door embracing the heart of our resistance, choosing disobedience over dogma, lest we become willing victims of so many contemporary “blue-beards.”
The parallels to distribution of film, music, arts, humanities & other cultural “products” (among our greatest “exports” like Democracy) could not be more pressing as we approach upcoming elections. Of course, the big-money-media dominance problem likely stems from an antitrust problem that maintains artificial hierarchies of false superiority, so deeply entrenched, for so long, in the highly influential cultural “media products” we all consume daily (and export too) which has infected our global cultural psyche, railroaded political discourse into a reality show circus and left us, the planet, where we are today.
I am trying to share what you may not know about the day to day details affecting the soul of an independent artists’ life, the vocation, the “calling” of culture-making. I’m trying to build a case for some possible solutions that might help us all.
I’m an independent artist who founded my own SustainableStudiO™️ where we make movies, music & publishing about social & climate justice themes with diverse crews. When a small independent filmmaker, like myself, used her meager savings along with some angel investments to make a tiny highly innovative movie & album with a diverse all female crew and then went “begging” to several film distributors, their response-echo was invariably :
“we (the distributors) do not accept unsolicited submissions
from producers we have not worked with in the past.”
So, these distributors are admitting, in writing, the insanity : that if a filmmaker like me, has not distributed a movie with them before, there is NO WAY to distribute my independently made, non-corporate film in any of the major American cinema or global marketplaces and get paid fairly in order to continue to do my own life’s work. The entertainment industry is arguably among our most lucrative ( for the few ) & exported sources of “American made product.” Or, is it ?
We Need a Thriving Artist Community Of Non-Billionaires
Distributor responses like these, were most devastating from so called (imposters) “indie” distributors who held out promise to those of us creating fresh projects unaware that status quo is already busy buying up all the possibilities while portraying themselves to the public as though they themselves are “indies,” thieving from actual independent artists like myself, as we scrape together pennies in spite of the “gentrification of culture.”
“Gentrification of Culture”
“ Independent Artists are ‘First Responders’ to the Soul of Culture
Early on I recognized that my culture valued me as a “baby-maker” far more than it valued what I consider my “babies” : my works of art. Authentic independent artists need breathing room and respect, in the same way parents with young kids, senior citizens or students, are understood and valued in this culture. Yes this may seem a radical idea but guys, people have paid millions for the progeny of Van Gogh, Picasso, et. al … How about affording some grace for living artists? How about a similar tax structure for artists, like the great director John Huston initiated in Ireland?
Why are Corporate Entities allowed to appropriate / impersonate the important role of artists in culture? We have quietly slipped into an Entertainment Oligarchy where manufactured superiority rules. This “Dominance / Supremacist Fiscal Model” also reflects our dependence on the oil industry and victimhood to Conservative Obstructionism. This is us, in the fun-house fascist mirror we seem to find so fascinating. Lordy I hope we don’t find out for real. Popular culture tends to deride the “starving artist.” I’m asking us to consider, who is getting the last laugh and at what expense to democracy, freedom, civilization, the planet ?
Recently 60 minutes did a story about Wall Street taking over housing and making it almost impossible for people to own homes or pay rent in the 21st Century. The story aired on March 20, 2022. I’ve personally experienced the horrors of gentrification, when my own tiny sustainable, hand-built studio located in a sleepy little beach neighborhood was targeted by developers. We fought back. I’m asking us all to do the same.
Corporate talking heads blithely spout false equivalencies and casually endorse products like books, movies and other entertainment products on the so-called “news.” Our culture has long been indoctrinated into worshiping money and dominance, so we no longer show respect for authentic artists not “so-called-curated” by corporate gate-keepers. To me, that means we have lost respect for ourselves, doomed to be groomed in the worship of the corporation.
A compromised culture incubated, birthed, indoctrinated into gentrification
and “worshiping at the altar of wealth” will logically elevate notions like “superiority” and “dominance” at the expense of the necessary humanities that celebrate non-transactional human behaviors and values necessary to healthy culture and democracy. I am advocating for non-corporate, authentic independent artists but also for the simple concept of “truth.”
Who writes the A-List?
We need to support “artists for artist’s sake” which is to say “liberty” “freedom” and the “pursuit of happiness” for their own sake too. We need to secure “UNCURATED” yet remunerative spaces, for the artist in society. Europe and Canada maintain a healthy respect for artists, why can’t we?
Please help us all stay independent from the Cultural Industrial Complex, let’s create a “farmers’ market” for indie films & music. Let’s have an online space where seasoned directors & producers can directly communicate with newcomers like me. Let’s not limit our own possibilities, betray ourselves. Let us “raise our hands” in the global classroom, ask questions, not settle for the candidate, or the movie or album with the biggest budget, the loudest voice, the most cruel derisionor worse, the indifference of apathy.
Big money media is so dominant over every screen, from big screens to cell-phones, that they are literally “authoring” – “dictating” not just our thoughts, but the very process of thinking. We need new common sense thinking and action addressing culture-making by independent artists – and also – the mechanics of why we need to vote for ourselves.
The independent artist, unowned, like a public servant who does not answer to big money, is never beholden to big money corporate conglomerates
and therefore represents the deep “infrastructure” of the soul of our nation,
without which, we collapse deeper into the transactional, corporate, oligarchical reality show culture that got us where we are today.
So Let’s make the possibility of a better tomorrow possible. “
Support My Work :
Cali Lili Oscars 2020 Contender ” Eve N’God This Female Is Not Yet Rated ”
I raised my hand a lot in grade school. Didn’t always know the answer but so pumped engaging on the questions. One day, I found myself in the hallway with the teacher explaining that my class-mates were bullying me because they were jealous. Jealous? Of me? “WHY would ANYONE be jealous of me?”
Raising my hand was a symptom of raising myself, surviving an abusive home, so my self esteem wasn’t always strong. I guess my hand raised in class was a plea to the multiverse, a signal for some lifeguard somewhere that I wanted to learn. To swim, not drown.
“Never stop raising your hand” my teacher said in a fervent, personal way. Even at that young age I understood someone must have laughed at her, tried to thwart her. She was warning me never to give in to the bullies as I would only betray myself. Her kindness and humanity, her warning about never limiting my own “possibility,” her willingness to be vulnerable yet strong were the underlying lessons.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’ve been skipped grades and I’m the youngest kid in high school. Now I’m summoned to the principals’ office. Never been in any principals’ office, like, EVER. He’s yelling at me. My offense? I got accepted into early enrollment for University. I’m skipping the last years of high school, the diploma and the prom because University is offering me full scholarship. This principal guy is yelling at me because his school is “losing money” due to my leaving early. WTF.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’m still raising my hand.
Dear 117th Congress ,
Beloved President Biden & Vice President Kamala Harris
And
Everyone who cares about Art, Democracy, Civilization and Beef.
SUBJECT :
Earth Day
Rescuing Independent Artists,
An Endangered Species,
(like Democracy)
from the
Gentrification Of Culture
President Biden described America in one word : POSSIBILITY. I’m addressing you because I believe we have succumbed to a dominance/superiority based bully culture thwarting our possibility.
DISTRIBUTION of Movies is Like BEEF
It may seem odd, but I’m referencing Senator Jon Testers’ Montana bill, protecting small meat producers from the monopoly of mega-distributors here. Obstruction & lack of fairness in distribution opportunities for independent artists is oddly similar to that of beef/food. This also reeks from our nations’ dependence on oil and victimization at the hands of conservative obstructionism including the supremacist misogyny, racism & homophobia on display in the current state of the so-called Supreme Court.
Like Ben Franklin, influenced by the “Enlightenment,” we can push back the Dark Ages by unlocking that forbidden door embracing the heart of our resistance, choosing disobedience over dogma, lest we become willing victims of so many contemporary “blue-beards.”
The parallels to distribution of film, music, arts, humanities & other cultural “products” (among our greatest “exports” like Democracy) could not be more pressing as we approach upcoming elections. Of course, the big-money-media dominance problem likely stems from an antitrust problem that maintains artificial hierarchies of false superiority, so deeply entrenched, for so long, in the highly influential cultural “media products” we all consume daily (and export too) which has infected our global cultural psyche, railroaded political discourse into a reality show circus and left us, the planet, where we are today.
I am trying to share what you may not know about the day to day details affecting the soul of an independent artists’ life, the vocation, the “calling” of culture-making. I’m trying to build a case for some possible solutions that might help us all.
I’m an independent artist who founded my own SustainableStudiO™️ where we make movies, music & publishing about social & climate justice themes with diverse crews. When a small independent filmmaker, like myself, used her meager savings along with some angel investments to make a tiny highly innovative movie & album with a diverse all female crew and then went “begging” to several film distributors, their response-echo was invariably :
“we (the distributors) do not accept unsolicited submissions
from producers we have not worked with in the past.”
So, these distributors are admitting, in writing, the insanity : that if a filmmaker like me, has not distributed a movie with them before, there is NO WAY to distribute my independently made, non-corporate film in any of the major American cinema or global marketplaces and get paid fairly in order to continue to do my own life’s work. The entertainment industry is arguably among our most lucrative ( for the few ) & exported sources of “American made product.” Or, is it ?
We Need a Thriving Artist Community Of Non-Billionaires
Distributor responses like these, were most devastating from so called (imposters) “indie” distributors who held out promise to those of us creating fresh projects unaware that status quo is already busy buying up all the possibilities while portraying themselves to the public as though they themselves are “indies,” thieving from actual independent artists like myself, as we scrape together pennies in spite of the “gentrification of culture.”
“Gentrification of Culture”
“ Independent Artists are ‘First Responders’ to the Soul of Culture
Early on I recognized that my culture valued me as a “baby-maker” far more than it valued what I consider my “babies” : my works of art. Authentic independent artists need breathing room and respect, in the same way parents with young kids, senior citizens or students, are understood and valued in this culture. Yes this may seem a radical idea but guys, people have paid millions for the progeny of Van Gogh, Picasso, et. al … How about affording some grace for living artists? How about a similar tax structure for artists, like the great director John Huston initiated in Ireland?
Why are Corporate Entities allowed to appropriate / impersonate the important role of artists in culture? We have quietly slipped into an Entertainment Oligarchy where manufactured superiority rules. This “Dominance / Supremacist Fiscal Model” also reflects our dependence on the oil industry and victimhood to Conservative Obstructionism. This is us, in the fun-house fascist mirror we seem to find so fascinating. Lordy I hope we don’t find out for real. Popular culture tends to deride the “starving artist.” I’m asking us to consider, who is getting the last laugh and at what expense to democracy, freedom, civilization, the planet ?
Recently 60 minutes did a story about Wall Street taking over housing and making it almost impossible for people to own homes or pay rent in the 21st Century. The story aired on March 20, 2022. I’ve personally experienced the horrors of gentrification, when my own tiny sustainable, hand-built studio located in a sleepy little beach neighborhood was targeted by developers. We fought back. I’m asking us all to do the same.
Corporate talking heads blithely spout false equivalencies and casually endorse products like books, movies and other entertainment products on the so-called “news.” Our culture has long been indoctrinated into worshiping money and dominance, so we no longer show respect for authentic artists not “so-called-curated” by corporate gate-keepers. To me, that means we have lost respect for ourselves, doomed to be groomed in the worship of the corporation.
A compromised culture incubated, birthed, indoctrinated into gentrification
and “worshiping at the altar of wealth” will logically elevate notions like “superiority” and “dominance” at the expense of the necessary humanities that celebrate non-transactional human behaviors and values necessary to healthy culture and democracy. I am advocating for non-corporate, authentic independent artists but also for the simple concept of “truth.”
Who writes the A-List?
We need to support “artists for artist’s sake” which is to say “liberty” “freedom” and the “pursuit of happiness” for their own sake too. We need to secure “UNCURATED” yet remunerative spaces, for the artist in society. Europe and Canada maintain a healthy respect for artists, why can’t we?
Please help us all stay independent from the Cultural Industrial Complex, let’s create a “farmers’ market” for indie films & music. Let’s have an online space where seasoned directors & producers can directly communicate with newcomers like me. Let’s not limit our own possibilities, betray ourselves. Let us “raise our hands” in the global classroom, ask questions, not settle for the candidate, or the movie or album with the biggest budget, the loudest voice, the most cruel derisionor worse, the indifference of apathy.
Big money media is so dominant over every screen, from big screens to cell-phones, that they are literally “authoring” – “dictating” not just our thoughts, but the very process of thinking. We need new common sense thinking and action addressing culture-making by independent artists – and also – the mechanics of why we need to vote for ourselves.
The independent artist, unowned, like a public servant who does not answer to big money, is never beholden to big money corporate conglomerates
and therefore represents the deep “infrastructure” of the soul of our nation,
without which, we collapse deeper into the transactional, corporate, oligarchical reality show culture that got us where we are today.
So Let’s make the possibility of a better tomorrow possible. “
Oscars 2020 Contender
All Female Crew LGBTQ Interracial Love , Climate Action Lesbian Visibility Love Story
by
SustainableStudiO™️
Cali Lili Indies ™️
Independent Human Working Class Non-Corporate Artists
I raised my hand a lot in grade school. Didn’t always know the answer but so pumped engaging on the questions. One day, I found myself in the hallway with the teacher explaining that my class-mates were bullying me because they were jealous. Jealous? Of me? “WHY would ANYONE be jealous of me?”
Raising my hand was a symptom of raising myself, surviving an abusive home, so my self esteem wasn’t always strong. I guess my hand raised in class was a plea to the multiverse, a signal for some lifeguard somewhere that I wanted to learn. To swim, not drown.
“Never stop raising your hand” my teacher said in a fervent, personal way. Even at that young age I understood someone must have laughed at her, tried to thwart her. She was warning me never to give in to the bullies as I would only betray myself. Her kindness and humanity, her warning about never limiting my own “possibility,” her willingness to be vulnerable yet strong were the underlying lessons.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’ve been skipped grades and I’m the youngest kid in high school. Now I’m summoned to the principals’ office. Never been in any principals’ office, like, EVER. He’s yelling at me. My offense? I got accepted into early enrollment for University. I’m skipping the last years of high school, the diploma and the prom because University is offering me full scholarship. This principal guy is yelling at me because his school is “losing money” due to my leaving early. WTF.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’m still raising my hand.
Dear 117th Congress
And
Everyone who cares about Art, Democracy, Civilization and Beef.
SUBJECT :
Earth Day
Rescuing Independent Artists,
An Endangered Species,
(like Democracy)
from the
Gentrification Of Culture
President Biden described America in one word : POSSIBILITY. I’m addressing you because I believe we have succumbed to a dominance/superiority based bully culture thwarting our possibility.
DISTRIBUTION of Movies is Like BEEF
It may seem odd, but I’m referencing Senator Jon Testers’ Montana bill, protecting small meat producers from the monopoly of mega-distributors here. Obstruction & lack of fairness in distribution opportunities for independent artists is oddly similar to that of beef/food. This also reeks from our nations’ dependence on oil and victimization at the hands of conservative obstructionism including the supremacist misogyny, racism & homophobia on display in the current state of the so-called Supreme Court.
Like Ben Franklin, influenced by the “Enlightenment,” we can push back the Dark Ages by unlocking that forbidden door embracing the heart of our resistance, choosing disobedience over dogma, lest we become willing victims of so many contemporary “blue-beards.”
The parallels to distribution of film, music, arts, humanities & other cultural “products” (among our greatest “exports” like Democracy) could not be more pressing as we approach upcoming elections. Of course, the big-money-media dominance problem likely stems from an antitrust problem that maintains artificial hierarchies of false superiority, so deeply entrenched, for so long, in the highly influential cultural “media products” we all consume daily (and export too) which has infected our global cultural psyche, railroaded political discourse into a reality show circus and left us, the planet, where we are today.
I am trying to share what you may not know about the day to day details affecting the soul of an independent artists’ life, the vocation, the “calling” of culture-making. I’m trying to build a case for some possible solutions that might help us all.
I’m an independent artist who founded my own SustainableStudiO™️ where we make movies, music & publishing about social & climate justice themes with diverse crews. When a small independent filmmaker, like myself, used her meager savings along with some angel investments to make a tiny highly innovative movie & album with a diverse all female crew and then went “begging” to several film distributors, their response-echo was invariably :
“we (the distributors) do not accept unsolicited submissions
from producers we have not worked with in the past.”
So, these distributors are admitting, in writing, the insanity : that if a filmmaker like me, has not distributed a movie with them before, there is NO WAY to distribute my independently made, non-corporate film in any of the major American cinema or global marketplaces and get paid fairly in order to continue to do my own life’s work. The entertainment industry is arguably among our most lucrative ( for the few ) & exported sources of “American made product.” Or, is it ?
We Need a Thriving Artist Community Of Non-Billionaires
Distributor responses like these, were most devastating from so called (imposters) “indie” distributors who held out promise to those of us creating fresh projects unaware that status quo is already busy buying up all the possibilities while portraying themselves to the public as though they themselves are “indies,” thieving from actual independent artists like myself, as we scrape together pennies in spite of the “gentrification of culture.”
“Gentrification of Culture”
“ Independent Artists are ‘First Responders’ to the Soul of Culture
Early on I recognized that my culture valued me as a “baby-maker” far more than it valued what I consider my “babies” : my works of art. Authentic independent artists need breathing room and respect, in the same way parents with young kids, senior citizens or students, are understood and valued in this culture. Yes this may seem a radical idea but guys, people have paid millions for the progeny of Van Gogh, Picasso, et. al … How about affording some grace for living artists? How about a similar tax structure for artists, like the great director John Huston initiated in Ireland?
Why are Corporate Entities allowed to appropriate / impersonate the important role of artists in culture? We have quietly slipped into an Entertainment Oligarchy where manufactured superiority rules. This “Dominance / Supremacist Fiscal Model” also reflects our dependence on the oil industry and victimhood to Conservative Obstructionism. This is us, in the fun-house fascist mirror we seem to find so fascinating. Lordy I hope we don’t find out for real. Popular culture tends to deride the “starving artist.” I’m asking us to consider, who is getting the last laugh and at what expense to democracy, freedom, civilization, the planet ?
Recently 60 minutes did a story about Wall Street taking over housing and making it almost impossible for people to own homes or pay rent in the 21st Century. The story aired on March 20, 2022. I’ve personally experienced the horrors of gentrification, when my own tiny sustainable, hand-built studio located in a sleepy little beach neighborhood was targeted by developers. We fought back. I’m asking us all to do the same.
Corporate talking heads blithely spout false equivalencies and casually endorse products like books, movies and other entertainment products on the so-called “news.” Our culture has long been indoctrinated into worshiping money and dominance, so we no longer show respect for authentic artists not “so-called-curated” by corporate gate-keepers. To me, that means we have lost respect for ourselves, doomed to be groomed in the worship of the corporation.
A compromised culture incubated, birthed, indoctrinated into gentrification
and “worshiping at the altar of wealth” will logically elevate notions like “superiority” and “dominance” at the expense of the necessary humanities that celebrate non-transactional human behaviors and values necessary to healthy culture and democracy. I am advocating for non-corporate, authentic independent artists but also for the simple concept of “truth.”
Who writes the A-List?
We need to support “artists for artist’s sake” which is to say “liberty” “freedom” and the “pursuit of happiness” for their own sake too. We need to secure “UNCURATED” yet remunerative spaces, for the artist in society. Europe and Canada maintain a healthy respect for artists, why can’t we?
Please help us all stay independent from the Cultural Industrial Complex, let’s create a “farmers’ market” for indie films & music. Let’s have an online space where seasoned directors & producers can directly communicate with newcomers like me. Let’s not limit our own possibilities, betray ourselves. Let us “raise our hands” in the global classroom, ask questions, not settle for the candidate, or the movie or album with the biggest budget, the loudest voice, the most cruel derisionor worse, the indifference of apathy.
Big money media is so dominant over every screen, from big screens to cell-phones, that they are literally “authoring” – “dictating” not just our thoughts, but the very process of thinking. We need new common sense thinking and action addressing culture-making by independent artists – and also – the mechanics of why we need to vote for ourselves.
The independent artist, unowned, like a public servant who does not answer to big money, is never beholden to big money corporate conglomerates
and therefore represents the deep “infrastructure” of the soul of our nation,
without which, we collapse deeper into the transactional, corporate, oligarchical reality show culture that got us where we are today.
So Let’s make the possibility of a better tomorrow possible. “
Support My Work :
Cali Lili Oscars 2020 Contender “Eve N’God This Female Is Not Yet Rated”
I raised my hand a lot in grade school. Didn’t always know the answer but so pumped engaging on the questions. One day, I found myself in the hallway with the teacher explaining that my class-mates were bullying me because they were jealous. Jealous? Of me? “WHY would ANYONE be jealous of me?”
Raising my hand was a symptom of raising myself, surviving an abusive home, so my self esteem wasn’t always strong. I guess my hand raised in class was a plea to the multiverse, a signal for some lifeguard somewhere that I wanted to learn. To swim, not drown.
“Never stop raising your hand” my teacher said in a fervent, personal way. Even at that young age I understood someone must have laughed at her, tried to thwart her. She was warning me never to give in to the bullies as I would only betray myself. Her kindness and humanity, her warning about never limiting my own “possibility,” her willingness to be vulnerable yet strong were the underlying lessons.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’ve been skipped grades and I’m the youngest kid in high school. Now I’m summoned to the principals’ office. Never been in any principals’ office, like, EVER. He’s yelling at me. My offense? I got accepted into early enrollment for University. I’m skipping the last years of high school, the diploma and the prom because University is offering me full scholarship. This principal guy is yelling at me because his school is “losing money” due to my leaving early. WTF.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’m still raising my hand.
Dear 117th Congress
And
Everyone who cares about Art, Democracy, Civilization and Beef.
SUBJECT :
Earth Day
Rescuing Independent Artists,
An Endangered Species,
(like Democracy)
from the
Gentrification Of Culture
President Biden described America in one word : POSSIBILITY. I’m addressing you because I believe we have succumbed to a dominance/superiority based bully culture thwarting our possibility.
DISTRIBUTION of Movies is Like BEEF
It may seem odd, but I’m referencing Senator Jon Testers’ Montana bill, protecting small meat producers from the monopoly of mega-distributors here. Obstruction & lack of fairness in distribution opportunities for independent artists is oddly similar to that of beef/food. This also reeks from our nations’ dependence on oil and victimization at the hands of conservative obstructionism including the supremacist misogyny, racism & homophobia on display in the current state of the so-called Supreme Court.
Like Ben Franklin, influenced by the “Enlightenment,” we can push back the Dark Ages by unlocking that forbidden door embracing the heart of our resistance, choosing disobedience over dogma, lest we become willing victims of so many contemporary “blue-beards.”
The parallels to distribution of film, music, arts, humanities & other cultural “products” (among our greatest “exports” like Democracy) could not be more pressing as we approach upcoming elections. Of course, the big-money-media dominance problem likely stems from an antitrust problem that maintains artificial hierarchies of false superiority, so deeply entrenched, for so long, in the highly influential cultural “media products” we all consume daily (and export too) which has infected our global cultural psyche, railroaded political discourse into a reality show circus and left us, the planet, where we are today.
I am trying to share what you may not know about the day to day details affecting the soul of an independent artists’ life, the vocation, the “calling” of culture-making. I’m trying to build a case for some possible solutions that might help us all.
I’m an independent artist who founded my own SustainableStudiO™️ where we make movies, music & publishing about social & climate justice themes with diverse crews. When a small independent filmmaker, like myself, used her meager savings along with some angel investments to make a tiny highly innovative movie & album with a diverse all female crew and then went “begging” to several film distributors, their response-echo was invariably :
“we (the distributors) do not accept unsolicited submissions
from producers we have not worked with in the past.”
So, these distributors are admitting, in writing, the insanity : that if a filmmaker like me, has not distributed a movie with them before, there is NO WAY to distribute my independently made, non-corporate film in any of the major American cinema or global marketplaces and get paid fairly in order to continue to do my own life’s work. The entertainment industry is arguably among our most lucrative ( for the few ) & exported sources of “American made product.” Or, is it ?
We Need a Thriving Artist Community Of Non-Billionaires
Distributor responses like these, were most devastating from so called (imposters) “indie” distributors who held out promise to those of us creating fresh projects unaware that status quo is already busy buying up all the possibilities while portraying themselves to the public as though they themselves are “indies,” thieving from actual independent artists like myself, as we scrape together pennies in spite of the “gentrification of culture.”
“Gentrification of Culture”
“ Independent Artists are ‘First Responders’ to the Soul of Culture
Early on I recognized that my culture valued me as a “baby-maker” far more than it valued what I consider my “babies” : my works of art. Authentic independent artists need breathing room and respect, in the same way parents with young kids, senior citizens or students, are understood and valued in this culture. Yes this may seem a radical idea but guys, people have paid millions for the progeny of Van Gogh, Picasso, et. al … How about affording some grace for living artists? How about a similar tax structure for artists, like the great director John Huston initiated in Ireland?
Why are Corporate Entities allowed to appropriate / impersonate the important role of artists in culture? We have quietly slipped into an Entertainment Oligarchy where manufactured superiority rules. This “Dominance / Supremacist Fiscal Model” also reflects our dependence on the oil industry and victimhood to Conservative Obstructionism. This is us, in the fun-house fascist mirror we seem to find so fascinating. Lordy I hope we don’t find out for real. Popular culture tends to deride the “starving artist.” I’m asking us to consider, who is getting the last laugh and at what expense to democracy, freedom, civilization, the planet ?
Recently 60 minutes did a story about Wall Street taking over housing and making it almost impossible for people to own homes or pay rent in the 21st Century. The story aired on March 20, 2022. I’ve personally experienced the horrors of gentrification, when my own tiny sustainable, hand-built studio located in a sleepy little beach neighborhood was targeted by developers. We fought back. I’m asking us all to do the same.
Corporate talking heads blithely spout false equivalencies and casually endorse products like books, movies and other entertainment products on the so-called “news.” Our culture has long been indoctrinated into worshiping money and dominance, so we no longer show respect for authentic artists not “so-called-curated” by corporate gate-keepers. To me, that means we have lost respect for ourselves, doomed to be groomed in the worship of the corporation.
A compromised culture incubated, birthed, indoctrinated into gentrification
and “worshiping at the altar of wealth” will logically elevate notions like “superiority” and “dominance” at the expense of the necessary humanities that celebrate non-transactional human behaviors and values necessary to healthy culture and democracy. I am advocating for non-corporate, authentic independent artists but also for the simple concept of “truth.”
Who writes the A-List?
We need to support “artists for artist’s sake” which is to say “liberty” “freedom” and the “pursuit of happiness” for their own sake too. We need to secure “UNCURATED” yet remunerative spaces, for the artist in society. Europe and Canada maintain a healthy respect for artists, why can’t we?
Please help us all stay independent from the Cultural Industrial Complex, let’s create a “farmers’ market” for indie films & music. Let’s have an online space where seasoned directors & producers can directly communicate with newcomers like me. Let’s not limit our own possibilities, betray ourselves. Let us “raise our hands” in the global classroom, ask questions, not settle for the candidate, or the movie or album with the biggest budget, the loudest voice, the most cruel derisionor worse, the indifference of apathy.
Big money media is so dominant over every screen, from big screens to cell-phones, that they are literally “authoring” – “dictating” not just our thoughts, but the very process of thinking. We need new common sense thinking and action addressing culture-making by independent artists – and also – the mechanics of why we need to vote for ourselves.
The independent artist, unowned, like a public servant who does not answer to big money, is never beholden to big money corporate conglomerates
and therefore represents the deep “infrastructure” of the soul of our nation,
without which, we collapse deeper into the transactional, corporate, oligarchical reality show culture that got us where we are today.
So Let’s make the possibility of a better tomorrow possible. “
Support My Work :
Cali Lili Oscars 2020 Contender “Eve N’God This Female Is Not Yet Rated”
I raised my hand a lot in grade school. Didn’t always know the answer but so pumped engaging on the questions. One day, I found myself in the hallway with the teacher explaining that my class-mates were bullying me because they were jealous. Jealous? Of me? “WHY would ANYONE be jealous of me?”
Raising my hand was a symptom of raising myself, surviving an abusive home, so my self esteem wasn’t always strong. I guess my hand raised in class was a plea to the multiverse, a signal for some lifeguard somewhere that I wanted to learn. To swim, not drown.
“Never stop raising your hand” my teacher said in a fervent, personal way. Even at that young age I understood someone must have laughed at her, tried to thwart her. She was warning me never to give in to the bullies as I would only betray myself. Her kindness and humanity, her warning about never limiting my own “possibility,” her willingness to be vulnerable yet strong were the underlying lessons.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’ve been skipped grades and I’m the youngest kid in high school. Now I’m summoned to the principals’ office. Never been in any principals’ office, like, EVER. He’s yelling at me. My offense? I got accepted into early enrollment for University. I’m skipping the last years of high school, the diploma and the prom because University is offering me full scholarship. This principal guy is yelling at me because his school is “losing money” due to my leaving early. WTF.
CUT TO :
A few years later, I’m still raising my hand.
Dear 117th Congress ,
Beloved President Biden & Vice President Kamala Harris
And
Everyone who cares about Art, Democracy, Civilization and Beef.
SUBJECT :
Earth Day
Rescuing Independent Artists,
An Endangered Species,
(like Democracy)
from the
Gentrification Of Culture
President Biden described America in one word : POSSIBILITY. I’m addressing you because I believe we have succumbed to a dominance/superiority based bully culture thwarting our possibility.
DISTRIBUTION of Movies is Like BEEF
It may seem odd, but I’m referencing Senator Jon Testers’ Montana bill, protecting small meat producers from the monopoly of mega-distributors here. Obstruction & lack of fairness in distribution opportunities for independent artists is oddly similar to that of beef/food. This also reeks from our nations’ dependence on oil and victimization at the hands of conservative obstructionism including the supremacist misogyny, racism & homophobia on display in the current state of the so-called Supreme Court.
Like Ben Franklin, influenced by the “Enlightenment,” we can push back the Dark Ages by unlocking that forbidden door embracing the heart of our resistance, choosing disobedience over dogma, lest we become willing victims of so many contemporary “blue-beards.”
The parallels to distribution of film, music, arts, humanities & other cultural “products” (among our greatest “exports” like Democracy) could not be more pressing as we approach upcoming elections. Of course, the big-money-media dominance problem likely stems from an antitrust problem that maintains artificial hierarchies of false superiority, so deeply entrenched, for so long, in the highly influential cultural “media products” we all consume daily (and export too) which has infected our global cultural psyche, railroaded political discourse into a reality show circus and left us, the planet, where we are today.
I am trying to share what you may not know about the day to day details affecting the soul of an independent artists’ life, the vocation, the “calling” of culture-making. I’m trying to build a case for some possible solutions that might help us all.
I’m an independent artist who founded my own SustainableStudiO™️ where we make movies, music & publishing about social & climate justice themes with diverse crews. When a small independent filmmaker, like myself, used her meager savings along with some angel investments to make a tiny highly innovative movie & album with a diverse all female crew and then went “begging” to several film distributors, their response-echo was invariably :
“we (the distributors) do not accept unsolicited submissions
from producers we have not worked with in the past.”
So, these distributors are admitting, in writing, the insanity : that if a filmmaker like me, has not distributed a movie with them before, there is NO WAY to distribute my independently made, non-corporate film in any of the major American cinema or global marketplaces and get paid fairly in order to continue to do my own life’s work. The entertainment industry is arguably among our most lucrative ( for the few ) & exported sources of “American made product.” Or, is it ?
We Need a Thriving Artist Community Of Non-Billionaires
Distributor responses like these, were most devastating from so called (imposters) “indie” distributors who held out promise to those of us creating fresh projects unaware that status quo is already busy buying up all the possibilities while portraying themselves to the public as though they themselves are “indies,” thieving from actual independent artists like myself, as we scrape together pennies in spite of the “gentrification of culture.”
“Gentrification of Culture”
“ Independent Artists are ‘First Responders’ to the Soul of Culture
Early on I recognized that my culture valued me as a “baby-maker” far more than it valued what I consider my “babies” : my works of art. Authentic independent artists need breathing room and respect, in the same way parents with young kids, senior citizens or students, are understood and valued in this culture. Yes this may seem a radical idea but guys, people have paid millions for the progeny of Van Gogh, Picasso, et. al … How about affording some grace for living artists? How about a similar tax structure for artists, like the great director John Huston initiated in Ireland?
Why are Corporate Entities allowed to appropriate / impersonate the important role of artists in culture? We have quietly slipped into an Entertainment Oligarchy where manufactured superiority rules. This “Dominance / Supremacist Fiscal Model” also reflects our dependence on the oil industry and victimhood to Conservative Obstructionism. This is us, in the fun-house fascist mirror we seem to find so fascinating. Lordy I hope we don’t find out for real. Popular culture tends to deride the “starving artist.” I’m asking us to consider, who is getting the last laugh and at what expense to democracy, freedom, civilization, the planet ?
Recently 60 minutes did a story about Wall Street taking over housing and making it almost impossible for people to own homes or pay rent in the 21st Century. The story aired on March 20, 2022. I’ve personally experienced the horrors of gentrification, when my own tiny sustainable, hand-built studio located in a sleepy little beach neighborhood was targeted by developers. We fought back. I’m asking us all to do the same.
Corporate talking heads blithely spout false equivalencies and casually endorse products like books, movies and other entertainment products on the so-called “news.” Our culture has long been indoctrinated into worshiping money and dominance, so we no longer show respect for authentic artists not “so-called-curated” by corporate gate-keepers. To me, that means we have lost respect for ourselves, doomed to be groomed in the worship of the corporation.
A compromised culture incubated, birthed, indoctrinated into gentrification
and “worshiping at the altar of wealth” will logically elevate notions like “superiority” and “dominance” at the expense of the necessary humanities that celebrate non-transactional human behaviors and values necessary to healthy culture and democracy. I am advocating for non-corporate, authentic independent artists but also for the simple concept of “truth.”
Who writes the A-List?
We need to support “artists for artist’s sake” which is to say “liberty” “freedom” and the “pursuit of happiness” for their own sake too. We need to secure “UNCURATED” yet remunerative spaces, for the artist in society. Europe and Canada maintain a healthy respect for artists, why can’t we?
Please help us all stay independent from the Cultural Industrial Complex, let’s create a “farmers’ market” for indie films & music. Let’s have an online space where seasoned directors & producers can directly communicate with newcomers like me. Let’s not limit our own possibilities, betray ourselves. Let us “raise our hands” in the global classroom, ask questions, not settle for the candidate, or the movie or album with the biggest budget, the loudest voice, the most cruel derisionor worse, the indifference of apathy.
Big money media is so dominant over every screen, from big screens to cell-phones, that they are literally “authoring” – “dictating” not just our thoughts, but the very process of thinking. We need new common sense thinking and action addressing culture-making by independent artists – and also – the mechanics of why we need to vote for ourselves.
The independent artist, unowned, like a public servant who does not answer to big money, is never beholden to big money corporate conglomerates
and therefore represents the deep “infrastructure” of the soul of our nation,
without which, we collapse deeper into the transactional, corporate, oligarchical reality show culture that got us where we are today.
So Let’s make the possibility of a better tomorrow possible. “
Support My Work :
Cali Lili Oscars 2020 Contender ” Eve N’God This Female Is Not Yet Rated ”
As an artist I already pledged long ago to cherish, honor, love and never squander the freedoms of democracy.
Below is a copy of the interview I share tonight with utmost respect for all those fighting for democracy around the world and at home in America.
I debated posting this 2022 interview about my film & music work during this crucial moment in global democracy .
Then I noticed how often I mention the word “freedom” in the interview .
My education in Liberal Arts was cupids’ arrow into the heart of culture I weave with purpose in defiance of tyranny.
Dear World let us join hands to save our planet, by saving our brothers and sisters in Ukraine and everywhere brutality seeks to harm civilization and every living creature on our blue planet mother earth.
Below is a copy of the interview I share tonight with utmost respect for all those fighting for democracy around the world and at home in America.
As an artist I already pledged long ago to cherish, honor, love and never squander the freedoms of democracy. That’s between me and my goddesses.
It’s my job to contribute to woven culture in the name of our democracy.
I defy any toxic entity tampering with our mother-earth given rights to life, liberty and YES, GODDESS BLESS the pursuit of happiness. Liberte , Equalite, Fraternite and in all my work, I have added :
Soeurorite too –
not just for humans, but for ALL living beings on our Blue Planet, Mama Earth, including the sea-life populating approximately 75% of our swirling, twirling, soaring swimming pool planet. “
Cali Lili
********************************************
2022 Interview : Victoria G interviews Cali Lili :
What inspired you to become an actor?
“Itseems as though it’s always been a feeling so natural with me, something I’m meant to do, even though nobody in my family of origin works in the arts. In fact, most of them are scientist / mathematician types and definitely did not want me to do this, but this feeling was always within me asking to come out .
At first, I expressed that feeling through dance scholarships in New York, so my work began with rhythm, movement , light and then naturally morphed into theater … more awards and scholarships …
I think it’s better to pursue something within the scope of your mastery even though the “marketplace” doesn’t always reward the best qualified… I feel it’s still a better way of life — to pursue something I have a genuine authentic facility / mastery with — because even when you’re good – it’s a very challenging industry…
In thinking about it now, for me, it seems to be a passion to communicate to others, through a sacred craft and medium, whether it be theater or film or music – to communicate through my humanity to your humanity and also, my love of wildlife, nature, especially sea-life and oceans is part of what always inspires me —
that’s why some of my company Cali Lili Indies ™️ trademark slogans include : “ pictures words music in motion ™️“ “handmade to make a difference “™️ & Cutting Edge Of The Pacific ™️”
BTW There’s actually a “craft” to acting & I feel that’s often conveniently forgotten in exchange for the “trade” or “commerce” …?
– that’s something I’ve always been personally inspired by – to improve my craft. In my opinion it can’t be taught, only worked at – with dedication and for genuinely personal reasons.
My desire to connect with other humans, and living creatures on this blue planet, through the medium that ‘downloads’ life on film / music / publishing – in order to ‘upload’ life for each other …
… and ultimately, make life better some-how, even if it’s just having fun, admiring beauty, sharing a moment in time and …
… that’s why, when I graduated at a very young age with a Masters’ Degree from NYU
I have a Masters Degree but not a high school diploma lol because I was skipped several grades and then got a scholarship to NYU before I finished high school – that’s why I refer to myself as a ‘runaway with scholarship’
and found out there was a lack of opportunity for delicious roles, I decided to start my own sustainable blue-green-space-studio to make sustainable movies, albums and books – TinyMultiMedia™️ exploring themes that deal with social justice, women’s and girls’ rights, lgbtq rights, interracial and multicultural rights — and equally urgent : climate / environmental / wildlife, sealife issues …
… the first sustainable movie and album we released “eVe N’god this female is not yet rated” was made with an all female mixed orientation film crew and the album was made with a mixed gender mixed orientation music team …
the project is an Oscars 2020 official contender … and we’re really proud of it … now working on the next one! “ cali lili
Who are your acting inspirations?
SO MANY !!!!!!
From so many eras … I’m a cinema – lover and I love every era …
Here’s a few but I know I’m missing some … there’s so many!!!!
Cate Blanchett, Emily Blunt, Jennifer Beals, Halle Berry, Whitney Houston, Viola Davis, Marion Cotillard, Sidney Poitier, Amy Adams, Marlon Brando, Eva Marie Saint, Gregory Peck, Viola Davis, George Clooney, Denzel Washington , Benedict Cumberbatch, Ryan Gosling, Jean Arthur, Elizabeth Taylor, Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Rosalind Russel, Mahalia Jackson, Katherine Hepburn, Ingrid Bergman, Audrey Hepburn, Vivien Leigh, Joan Crawford, Gary Cooper , James Stewart, Spencer Tracy, Marilyn Monroe , Henry Fonda , Cary Grant, Robert Redford , Paul Newman, Claude Rains, And – sincerely, not just because he’s my partner, Wings Hauser.
What is your favorite thing about acting?
Freedom to PLAY and HAVE
FUN !
What was your first acting job?
A student film version of a one-woman Eugene O’Neill play.
What is your favorite project you have ever done?
“eVe N’god this female is not yet rated “ !
We hope your readers will not only see the movie and hear the album – but also add even more positive reviews and ratings to the ones we’ve already got !
That’ll really help the next project!
We really did make this movie and album to reach out to people and as an all female crew that was dealing with LGBTQ issues and interracial love story climate change and social justice issues we did experience some trolls online so the ratings / reviews and shares from supportive readers will – really mean a lot to us! Especially as we move into the next projects !
Official Website and HERstory of all female crewed Oscars 2020 Contender
What are some qualities you look for in a project?
Freedom to play with some scope of emotion and physicality, to explore something I’ve never thought about or learned about before. Freedom to express something that resonates within me, that I feel capable of translating and shaping into a performance that’s meaningful or fun and entertaining. I want to know that I can deliver for the director / crew / team / audience with my whole heart and skill set. So I look for space to play and an avenue to deliver for the project as a whole.
Which character that you have played so far has been the most similar to you?
I haven’t played all that many characters but a bit of “me” is in them all … but I’d have to say that “eVe” in “eVe N’god this female is not yet rated” is definitely closest, so far …
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Water. Rhythm. Love.
What are your social media handles?
Official Website
and for the HERstory of our all female, diversely crewed
Whoa, I would not presume to say … I think we all have our own path …
Do you have any advice for an aspiring actor?
Breathe … try to understand why you are doing what you do …
What’s next for you?
I’m already working on the next music video – as well as my next feature length movie and album !
We won’t be releasing details about those for a while, but my crew and I are SO PUMPED!
I’m ALSO super excited for the upcoming release of a new single, which is a revisited version of one of the songs on my debut album / soundtrack “ this female is not yet rated.”
I was hired by award winning producers to sing the title track on camera – for their documentary – a VERY cool documentary they are making about my partner, Wings Hauser. It’s called “Wings Hauser Working Class Actor “
We shot the recording session at the legendary “Nightbird Studios” at the Sunset Marquis – in Hollywood. That studio is AWESOME and has got such an amazing Rock N’ Roll history that I could literally feel it in my body – so many people have recorded there (Rhianna, Aretha, Dylan, Lennon, Blondie !!!!! So many more )
It was a MAGICAL recording session – complete with unexpected lightning and thunder storm outside !
I can’t wait to share that song !!!!!
RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS
Who is a director you would love to work with?
SO MANY !!!!!!!
George Clooney , Jodie Foster , Jonah Hill , Denzel Washington, Spike Lee, Angelina Jolie, Jordan Peele, Barry Jenkins, Dylan Kidd , Don Cheadle, Spike Jonze, Damien Chazelle, Jason Segel , Barbara Streisand, Sofia Coppola, Kathryn Bigelow, John Singleton, Ava Duvernay, Casey Affleck , David Fincher , Craig Gillespie , Lee Daniels, Robert Townsend,
Adam McKay, Jon Favreau, Doug Limon, John Madden,
And there are many more – !!!!!!
What is something you can’t live without?
WATER – AIR – LOVE
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Unkindness of any kind.
Do you have any hidden talents?
Lol, good question, I’ll go look for some and get back to you – …
Do you play any instruments?
My voice is my primary musical instrument, along with my body in rhythm as far as performance … and I am a pretty good percussionist, I love all kinds of intercultural percussion instruments …
What is your favorite pastime?
Hmm… I don’t really get the concept of “pastime” – I do love being in the ocean, surfing, body surfing, body-boarding and yet I just always love what I’m doing and I have a busy schedule – I just really love what I do
Do you have any pets?
My Kitty. We rescued him and he’s just awesome. He is like my 1st AD or my show runner – he runs my schedule and – I’m HIS “comfort animal.”
I debated posting this 2022 interview about my film & music work during this crucial moment in global democracy .
Then I noticed how often I mention the word “freedom” in the interview .
My education in Liberal Arts was cupids’ arrow into the heart of culture I weave with purpose in defiance of tyranny.
Dear World let us join hands to save our planet, by saving our brothers and sisters in Ukraine and everywhere brutality seeks to harm civilization and every living creature on our blue planet mother earth.
Below is a copy of the interview I share tonight with utmost respect for all those fighting for democracy around the world and at home in America.
As an artist I already pledged long ago to cherish, honor, love and never squander the freedoms of democracy. That’s between me and my goddesses.
It’s my job to contribute to woven culture in the name of our democracy.
I defy any toxic entity tampering with our mother-earth given rights to life, liberty and YES, GODDESS BLESS the pursuit of happiness. Liberte , Equalite, Fraternite and in all my work, I have added :
Soeurorite too –
not just for humans, but for ALL living beings on our Blue Planet, Mama Earth, including the sea-life populating approximately 75% of our swirling, twirling, soaring swimming pool planet. “
Cali Lili
********************************************
2022 Interview : Victoria G interviews Cali Lili :
What inspired you to become an actor?
“Itseems as though it’s always been a feeling so natural with me, something I’m meant to do, even though nobody in my family of origin works in the arts. In fact, most of them are scientist / mathematician types and definitely did not want me to do this, but this feeling was always within me asking to come out .
At first, I expressed that feeling through dance scholarships in New York, so my work began with rhythm, movement , light and then naturally morphed into theater … more awards and scholarships …
I think it’s better to pursue something within the scope of your mastery even though the “marketplace” doesn’t always reward the best qualified… I feel it’s still a better way of life — to pursue something I have a genuine authentic facility / mastery with — because even when you’re good – it’s a very challenging industry…
In thinking about it now, for me, it seems to be a passion to communicate to others, through a sacred craft and medium, whether it be theater or film or music – to communicate through my humanity to your humanity and also, my love of wildlife, nature, especially sea-life and oceans is part of what always inspires me —
that’s why some of my company Cali Lili Indies ™️ trademark slogans include : “ pictures words music in motion ™️“ “handmade to make a difference “™️ & Cutting Edge Of The Pacific ™️”
BTW There’s actually a “craft” to acting & I feel that’s often conveniently forgotten in exchange for the “trade” or “commerce” …?
– that’s something I’ve always been personally inspired by – to improve my craft. In my opinion it can’t be taught, only worked at – with dedication and for genuinely personal reasons.
My desire to connect with other humans, and living creatures on this blue planet, through the medium that ‘downloads’ life on film / music / publishing – in order to ‘upload’ life for each other …
… and ultimately, make life better some-how, even if it’s just having fun, admiring beauty, sharing a moment in time and …
… that’s why, when I graduated at a very young age with a Masters’ Degree from NYU
I have a Masters Degree but not a high school diploma lol because I was skipped several grades and then got a scholarship to NYU before I finished high school – that’s why I refer to myself as a ‘runaway with scholarship’
and found out there was a lack of opportunity for delicious roles, I decided to start my own sustainable blue-green-space-studio to make sustainable movies, albums and books – TinyMultiMedia™️ exploring themes that deal with social justice, women’s and girls’ rights, lgbtq rights, interracial and multicultural rights — and equally urgent : climate / environmental / wildlife, sealife issues …
… the first sustainable movie and album we released “eVe N’god this female is not yet rated” was made with an all female mixed orientation film crew and the album was made with a mixed gender mixed orientation music team …
the project is an Oscars 2020 official contender … and we’re really proud of it … now working on the next one! “ cali lili
Who are your acting inspirations?
SO MANY !!!!!!
From so many eras … I’m a cinema – lover and I love every era …
Here’s a few but I know I’m missing some … there’s so many!!!!
Cate Blanchett, Emily Blunt, Jennifer Beals, Halle Berry, Whitney Houston, Viola Davis, Marion Cotillard, Sidney Poitier, Amy Adams, Marlon Brando, Eva Marie Saint, Gregory Peck, Viola Davis, George Clooney, Denzel Washington , Benedict Cumberbatch, Ryan Gosling, Jean Arthur, Elizabeth Taylor, Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Rosalind Russel, Mahalia Jackson, Katherine Hepburn, Ingrid Bergman, Audrey Hepburn, Vivien Leigh, Joan Crawford, Gary Cooper , James Stewart, Spencer Tracy, Marilyn Monroe , Henry Fonda , Cary Grant, Robert Redford , Paul Newman, Claude Rains, And – sincerely, not just because he’s my partner, Wings Hauser.
What is your favorite thing about acting?
Freedom to PLAY and HAVE
FUN !
What was your first acting job?
A student film version of a one-woman Eugene O’Neill play.
What is your favorite project you have ever done?
“eVe N’god this female is not yet rated “ !
We hope your readers will not only see the movie and hear the album – but also add even more positive reviews and ratings to the ones we’ve already got !
That’ll really help the next project!
We really did make this movie and album to reach out to people and as an all female crew that was dealing with LGBTQ issues and interracial love story climate change and social justice issues we did experience some trolls online so the ratings / reviews and shares from supportive readers will – really mean a lot to us! Especially as we move into the next projects !
Official Website and HERstory of all female crewed Oscars 2020 Contender
What are some qualities you look for in a project?
Freedom to play with some scope of emotion and physicality, to explore something I’ve never thought about or learned about before. Freedom to express something that resonates within me, that I feel capable of translating and shaping into a performance that’s meaningful or fun and entertaining. I want to know that I can deliver for the director / crew / team / audience with my whole heart and skill set. So I look for space to play and an avenue to deliver for the project as a whole.
Which character that you have played so far has been the most similar to you?
I haven’t played all that many characters but a bit of “me” is in them all … but I’d have to say that “eVe” in “eVe N’god this female is not yet rated” is definitely closest, so far …
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Water. Rhythm. Love.
What are your social media handles?
Official Website
and for the HERstory of our all female, diversely crewed
Whoa, I would not presume to say … I think we all have our own path …
Do you have any advice for an aspiring actor?
Breathe … try to understand why you are doing what you do …
What’s next for you?
I’m already working on the next music video – as well as my next feature length movie and album !
We won’t be releasing details about those for a while, but my crew and I are SO PUMPED!
I’m ALSO super excited for the upcoming release of a new single, which is a revisited version of one of the songs on my debut album / soundtrack “ this female is not yet rated.”
I was hired by award winning producers to sing the title track on camera – for their documentary – a VERY cool documentary they are making about my partner, Wings Hauser. It’s called “Wings Hauser Working Class Actor “
We shot the recording session at the legendary “Nightbird Studios” at the Sunset Marquis – in Hollywood. That studio is AWESOME and has got such an amazing Rock N’ Roll history that I could literally feel it in my body – so many people have recorded there (Rhianna, Aretha, Dylan, Lennon, Blondie !!!!! So many more )
It was a MAGICAL recording session – complete with unexpected lightning and thunder storm outside !
I can’t wait to share that song !!!!!
RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS
Who is a director you would love to work with?
SO MANY !!!!!!!
George Clooney , Jodie Foster , Jonah Hill , Denzel Washington, Spike Lee, Angelina Jolie, Jordan Peele, Barry Jenkins, Dylan Kidd , Don Cheadle, Spike Jonze, Damien Chazelle, Jason Segel , Barbara Streisand, Sofia Coppola, Kathryn Bigelow, John Singleton, Ava Duvernay, Casey Affleck , David Fincher , Craig Gillespie , Lee Daniels, Robert Townsend,
Adam McKay, Jon Favreau, Doug Limon, John Madden,
And there are many more – !!!!!!
What is something you can’t live without?
WATER – AIR – LOVE
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Unkindness of any kind.
Do you have any hidden talents?
Lol, good question, I’ll go look for some and get back to you – …
Do you play any instruments?
My voice is my primary musical instrument, along with my body in rhythm as far as performance … and I am a pretty good percussionist, I love all kinds of intercultural percussion instruments …
What is your favorite pastime?
Hmm… I don’t really get the concept of “pastime” – I do love being in the ocean, surfing, body surfing, body-boarding and yet I just always love what I’m doing and I have a busy schedule – I just really love what I do
Do you have any pets?
My Kitty. We rescued him and he’s just awesome. He is like my 1st AD or my show runner – he runs my schedule and – I’m HIS “comfort animal.”
I debated posting this 2022 interview about my film & music work during this crucial moment in global democracy .
Then I noticed how often I mention the word “freedom” in the interview .
My education in Liberal Arts was cupids’ arrow into the heart of culture I weave with purpose in defiance of tyranny.
Dear World let us join hands to save our planet, by saving our brothers and sisters in Ukraine and everywhere brutality seeks to harm civilization and every living creature on our blue planet mother earth.
Below is a copy of the interview I share tonight with utmost respect for all those fighting for democracy around the world and at home in America.
As an artist I already pledged long ago to cherish, honor, love and never squander the freedoms of democracy. That’s between me and my goddesses.
It’s my job to contribute to woven culture in the name of our democracy.
I defy any toxic entity tampering with our mother-earth given rights to life, liberty and YES, GODDESS BLESS the pursuit of happiness. Liberte , Equalite, Fraternite and in all my work, I have added :
Soeurorite too –
not just for humans, but for ALL living beings on our Blue Planet, Mama Earth, including the sea-life populating approximately 75% of our swirling, twirling, soaring swimming pool planet. “
Cali Lili
********************************************
2022 Interview : Victoria G interviews Cali Lili :
What inspired you to become an actor?
“Itseems as though it’s always been a feeling so natural with me, something I’m meant to do, even though nobody in my family of origin works in the arts. In fact, most of them are scientist / mathematician types and definitely did not want me to do this, but this feeling was always within me asking to come out .
At first, I expressed that feeling through dance scholarships in New York, so my work began with rhythm, movement , light and then naturally morphed into theater … more awards and scholarships …
I think it’s better to pursue something within the scope of your mastery even though the “marketplace” doesn’t always reward the best qualified… I feel it’s still a better way of life — to pursue something I have a genuine authentic facility / mastery with — because even when you’re good – it’s a very challenging industry…
In thinking about it now, for me, it seems to be a passion to communicate to others, through a sacred craft and medium, whether it be theater or film or music – to communicate through my humanity to your humanity and also, my love of wildlife, nature, especially sea-life and oceans is part of what always inspires me —
that’s why some of my company Cali Lili Indies ™️ trademark slogans include : “ pictures words music in motion ™️“ “handmade to make a difference “™️ & Cutting Edge Of The Pacific ™️”
BTW There’s actually a “craft” to acting & I feel that’s often conveniently forgotten in exchange for the “trade” or “commerce” …?
– that’s something I’ve always been personally inspired by – to improve my craft. In my opinion it can’t be taught, only worked at – with dedication and for genuinely personal reasons.
My desire to connect with other humans, and living creatures on this blue planet, through the medium that ‘downloads’ life on film / music / publishing – in order to ‘upload’ life for each other …
… and ultimately, make life better some-how, even if it’s just having fun, admiring beauty, sharing a moment in time and …
… that’s why, when I graduated at a very young age with a Masters’ Degree from NYU
I have a Masters Degree but not a high school diploma lol because I was skipped several grades and then got a scholarship to NYU before I finished high school – that’s why I refer to myself as a ‘runaway with scholarship’
and found out there was a lack of opportunity for delicious roles, I decided to start my own sustainable blue-green-space-studio to make sustainable movies, albums and books – TinyMultiMedia™️ exploring themes that deal with social justice, women’s and girls’ rights, lgbtq rights, interracial and multicultural rights — and equally urgent : climate / environmental / wildlife, sealife issues …
… the first sustainable movie and album we released “eVe N’god this female is not yet rated” was made with an all female mixed orientation film crew and the album was made with a mixed gender mixed orientation music team …
the project is an Oscars 2020 official contender … and we’re really proud of it … now working on the next one! “ cali lili
Who are your acting inspirations?
SO MANY !!!!!!
From so many eras … I’m a cinema – lover and I love every era …
Here’s a few but I know I’m missing some … there’s so many!!!!
Cate Blanchett, Emily Blunt, Jennifer Beals, Halle Berry, Whitney Houston, Viola Davis, Marion Cotillard, Sidney Poitier, Amy Adams, Marlon Brando, Eva Marie Saint, Gregory Peck, Viola Davis, George Clooney, Denzel Washington , Benedict Cumberbatch, Ryan Gosling, Jean Arthur, Elizabeth Taylor, Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Rosalind Russel, Mahalia Jackson, Katherine Hepburn, Ingrid Bergman, Audrey Hepburn, Vivien Leigh, Joan Crawford, Gary Cooper , James Stewart, Spencer Tracy, Marilyn Monroe , Henry Fonda , Cary Grant, Robert Redford , Paul Newman, Claude Rains, And – sincerely, not just because he’s my partner, Wings Hauser.
What is your favorite thing about acting?
Freedom to PLAY and HAVE
FUN !
What was your first acting job?
A student film version of a one-woman Eugene O’Neill play.
What is your favorite project you have ever done?
“eVe N’god this female is not yet rated “ !
We hope your readers will not only see the movie and hear the album – but also add even more positive reviews and ratings to the ones we’ve already got !
That’ll really help the next project!
We really did make this movie and album to reach out to people and as an all female crew that was dealing with LGBTQ issues and interracial love story climate change and social justice issues we did experience some trolls online so the ratings / reviews and shares from supportive readers will – really mean a lot to us! Especially as we move into the next projects !
Official Website and HERstory of all female crewed Oscars 2020 Contender
What are some qualities you look for in a project?
Freedom to play with some scope of emotion and physicality, to explore something I’ve never thought about or learned about before. Freedom to express something that resonates within me, that I feel capable of translating and shaping into a performance that’s meaningful or fun and entertaining. I want to know that I can deliver for the director / crew / team / audience with my whole heart and skill set. So I look for space to play and an avenue to deliver for the project as a whole.
Which character that you have played so far has been the most similar to you?
I haven’t played all that many characters but a bit of “me” is in them all … but I’d have to say that “eVe” in “eVe N’god this female is not yet rated” is definitely closest, so far …
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Water. Rhythm. Love.
What are your social media handles?
Official Website
and for the HERstory of our all female, diversely crewed
Whoa, I would not presume to say … I think we all have our own path …
Do you have any advice for an aspiring actor?
Breathe … try to understand why you are doing what you do …
What’s next for you?
I’m already working on the next music video – as well as my next feature length movie and album !
We won’t be releasing details about those for a while, but my crew and I are SO PUMPED!
I’m ALSO super excited for the upcoming release of a new single, which is a revisited version of one of the songs on my debut album / soundtrack “ this female is not yet rated.”
I was hired by award winning producers to sing the title track on camera – for their documentary – a VERY cool documentary they are making about my partner, Wings Hauser. It’s called “Wings Hauser Working Class Actor “
We shot the recording session at the legendary “Nightbird Studios” at the Sunset Marquis – in Hollywood. That studio is AWESOME and has got such an amazing Rock N’ Roll history that I could literally feel it in my body – so many people have recorded there (Rhianna, Aretha, Dylan, Lennon, Blondie !!!!! So many more )
It was a MAGICAL recording session – complete with unexpected lightning and thunder storm outside !
I can’t wait to share that song !!!!!
RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS
Who is a director you would love to work with?
SO MANY !!!!!!!
George Clooney , Jodie Foster , Jonah Hill , Denzel Washington, Spike Lee, Angelina Jolie, Jordan Peele, Barry Jenkins, Dylan Kidd , Don Cheadle, Spike Jonze, Damien Chazelle, Jason Segel , Barbara Streisand, Sofia Coppola, Kathryn Bigelow, John Singleton, Ava Duvernay, Casey Affleck , David Fincher , Craig Gillespie , Lee Daniels, Robert Townsend,
Adam McKay, Jon Favreau, Doug Limon, John Madden,
And there are many more – !!!!!!
What is something you can’t live without?
WATER – AIR – LOVE
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Unkindness of any kind.
Do you have any hidden talents?
Lol, good question, I’ll go look for some and get back to you – …
Do you play any instruments?
My voice is my primary musical instrument, along with my body in rhythm as far as performance … and I am a pretty good percussionist, I love all kinds of intercultural percussion instruments …
What is your favorite pastime?
Hmm… I don’t really get the concept of “pastime” – I do love being in the ocean, surfing, body surfing, body-boarding and yet I just always love what I’m doing and I have a busy schedule – I just really love what I do
Do you have any pets?
My Kitty. We rescued him and he’s just awesome. He is like my 1st AD or my show runner – he runs my schedule and – I’m HIS “comfort animal.”
In 2012 I set out to make a sustainable, green, upcycled, lgbtqia , interracial love story – an – all- female-crew motion picture —
with — an original, eclectic soundtrack —
much of it to be shot + recorded on a floating film set
and surrounding Venice Beach “hood” near my “AquaCultureZ™ WaterGarden™ feMt0™studi0”
Upon graduating early with a Master’s Degree from NYU, then entering the life of a “working actress” I learned most roles offered to girls + women (except a lucky few) were too often broadcasting degrading messages about us.
I tried to “adjust” a couple of the early roles – to balance ‘ the power in the frame.’ Despite the content of any given dialogue or role, I worked to imbue the character with strength.
I was beginning to get offered somewhat lucrative roles, I was more than willing to work hard – “work my wayup.” The problem with that plan – is summarized by the “MeToo” movement, which is not just about inappropriate sexual innuendo, but psychological abuse leading to agony, resulting in self-doubt.
It’s also anEconomics problem, with roadblocks held in place by threads of racism, sexism , homophobia , climate-ignorance in a gate-keeping culture – when all I wanted was to excel in theprofession to which I’d dedicated myself whole-heartedly.
I’d been warned about this environment by older actors ( not actresses ) but assumed times had changed so I walked blindly into an environment reminiscent of a bygone era that had never updated it’s own “operating system.”
There I was with all this 21st Century software but there was nothing to run it.
How does a professional, work their way up such a slippery ladder? Perhaps economic inequality is sourced in such pathologies?
Until #MeToo became a hashtag – I’ll venture to guess that most women suffered under the weight of judgement by their families, friends and self-criticism about why they hadn’t progressed further despite their talent and drive. The worst part, is not being supported by “sisters” of a sorority I feel could be so comforting – and even worse, navigating a hyper-competitive “pigeons-for-scraps” culture based in scarcity where ideas and intellectual property can be so easily appropriated by those with power, harvested from those without.
I’ll venture to guess we all felt as though it was just happening to us alone. Similar to the “Occupancy Wall Street” awareness – when people realized that getting their degrees and working hard was not enough in an economy rigged for the 1 percent.
Even if I’d been willing to be willing on whatever levels of “consent” – I’d just come from surviving an abusive childhood – literally “rescued” by my passion for acting , dance, arts , learning – and my teachers who saw the talent, had invested their care in that little girl rushing through the streets of Manhattan – from dance class to acting class to anthropologyand science classrooms.
They’d invested their own passion for education – in that little girl – me.
I couldn’t let them down and I couldn’t let down other little girls who might someday see a movie that I was in – and when she sees me in that movie, she sees herself and when she sees herself, I want her to feel strong, not helpless. I want “her” to feel proud of “HERstory.”
After turning down three lucrative roles in a row, especially after bumping into one of the producers I’d turned down at a social event – noticing his “WHO are YOU to turn ME down glare ” –
I sucked it up – GLARED BACK with a smile –
and THAT was the moment I learned :
WHO I AM ? Is a girl who won’t get bullied – ever again.
Who I am – is a girl choosing integrity over expediency – no matter how ambitious I may be.
Ialso understood that it wasn’t “men” – it wasn’t “directors” or “producers” — it was the Culture at large.Certainly I’d run into plenty of women who had internalized misogyny to enact upon sisters and there was plenty of it in every profession. I had to find a way to work in my chosen profession, to which I had already dedicated – so I chose – to literally “be the change I wished to see” as the saying goes.
Having studied anthropology along with intercultural, interdisciplinary performance modalities – I felt uniquely equipped to grapple with these new insights – even though, they’d prove beyond challenging to implement. I’d be needing some miracles and tons of hard work integrating the education + early work experience I’d earned – with the realities of making a movie and album. A tall order.
I had saved up babysitting, lemonade stand, acting gigs and yoga teacher earnings and these were “startup funds” which I partly used to create our first music video “ElectionTrain” made in urgent support for Obama. Then we began pre-pre-production on the feature motion picture :
” I didn’t want to make a film or album that I’d already seen before.
I was aware that most noted ‘counter-culture’ revolutions in media had previously involved an examination but also ultimate glorification of violence + what is sometimes described as ‘toxic masculinity.’
The film prologue introduces my storytelling concepts which I’ve been referring to, as : “orgasmic” instead of “phallic.” I’m positing that my liquid, fluid, music-based, “orgasmic” storytelling journey to tell the “love-is-love-triangle-story” of eVe, Lila + Doctor Goddard – can exist in harmony with the more normative “phallic” cinematic storytelling styles most cultures expect in a narrative movie. While other directors have experimented with dabbling in it – I feel my movie, while working within the constraints of a modest budget, fully explores this type of storytelling, not with outer special effects, but with inner ones.
The movie draws us “under” and “into” the deep end of the pool, the pond, the ocean as if vacillating between conscious + unconscious time-space dimensions but always flowing like water (orgasmic) instead of rocketing into space (phallic) as “eVe” describes from “inside the closet.”
While I’m proud to say my film was made “like a girl” as that popular hashtag proudly proclaims – I’m almost tempted to ask the audience to consider my innovative storytelling “as if” this were directed by one of several guy filmmakers who’ve experimented this way, but with larger budgets but perhaps a bit less insight about the female nature of this “orgasmic” storytelling style which, in my work, seeks to flow poetic, liquid, music.
It is, in fact, I guarantee you, a different type of “orgasm.”
As my movie does include a theme + dedication to victims of violence against the LGBTQ community, women, black individuals + communities, indigenous individuals + communities … and … AND : our oceans, our mother Earth, wildlife – especially Sea-Life (most feminine) – I did portray an act of violence, but I was cognizant of telling the story of the movie in a manner I described onscreen as ‘orgasmic’ existing alongside most storytelling which is often “phallic.”
I posit that both ‘orgasmic’ + ‘phallic’ storytelling can ( and must ) exist inter-dependently in our Arts + Culture.
I found myself having to not only “shatter glass ceilings” + “break sound-barriers” – but I also had to “break” some storytelling / cinematic / music ‘ rules ‘ – in order to tell my ‘love-triangle’ ‘love-is-love – story’ : AUTHENTICALLY.
This wasn’t going to be structured like other movies – this “herstory” neededsomething from me + “she” is composed of the twin-Tao-yin-yang characters : “eVe” + “Lila.” “She” wrote herself, directed herself.
An all female, openly LGBTQIA crew in 2013 was VERY NEW (still rare) – if we were not ‘the first’ – we are definitely among the veryfirst –
Eyes widened whenever I floated the idea. Also pushback – pushed back — on a variety of levels.Sigh.
Some men “mansplained” – my idea was discriminatory. Others proudly displayed their self-hatred through open sexism, racism, homophobia, climate-denying biases, which was – briefly surprising but eventually – worthless, because hate, though ‘loud’ – is such a drab, useless – one way ticket.
Recently, I became aware of a “mini-genre” to which my “eVe” belongs – and by that I mean – movies which explore the internalized concepts of various religious “eves” – in the context of secular, colloquial (notbiblical)culture.
As my Master’s degree incorporated both Anthropology+ Performance Arts – I tend to “study” culture – even while I’m creating it.
I’ve noticed + personally experienced – the regulations + limitations placed on HER-stories – the ” ‘slut-shaming” of “eVe” ‘ – which has : palpable, real-life consequence for most women, girls, feminine males + wildlife(especially Sea-Life , most feminine) —with it’s victims buried deep in the roots of most cultures.
Shaming-eVe :
When looking “in the closet” of any given Culture – if we venture to explore past the climate-denial, past homophobia and racism – we’ll find misogyny – hiding – way – WAY … at the back of that closet – where most of us, even women, are unaware of the insidious odor seeping deep :
All that “femme” – is feared by the toxic entity which has hounded Humanity for eons – I’ll name it here : “that which believes it must control others or die.” That toxin can be presentin women too.
My “eVe” spends a good bit of the movie “trapped” indoors and she wisely uses some of that time – exploring the “closet.”
Those espousing hateful views towards people – or environmental conservancy – often cite economics + productivity as excuses for exclusionary actions. In fact, hate, exclusion + climate denial are completely – un-productivefor society + for the planet.
It’s pure economics if one needs that sort of excuse. Discriminatory, hateful, wasteful energy create nothing except toxins + problems .
We already have a surplus of those.
This planet needs solutions that heal our problems. More than ever I believe education + quality communication skills are the universal “solvent” whereby wecan dissolve + detoxify globalcultures from such maladies.
– surviving independently, indigenous + sustainable – like an endangered species ( along with all other endangered species wildlife, Sea-Life, and the working class / middle class in every economy ) – on gasps of oxygen –
we are hand-made – on sustainable half-a- shoestring budgets – I’m hoping that the Academy considers my written request to create a new category for this budget level –
hand-made by an artist – with a crew of fellow artists + craftspersons (not a corporation) positing this idea :
Just after graduating at an impossibly early age, having been skipped several grades, earned scholarships to pay my own tuition- with a Master’sDegree but no high school diploma – i stepped out into the “real world” only to discover that the “ISMs” I had believed to be “anachronISMs” – from history books – racism, sexism, homophobia , climate denial – the “male gaze” – the “white gaze ” + other “gazes” – were still alive and finding their way back , insidiously, into our world consciousness, our current histories + HERstories.
The HERstory that we are living now – became a source of great worry to me. I had survived an abusive childhood + I know abuse when I see it.
Abuse of Power exhibited all the tell-tale signatures of Domestic Abuse, Child-Abuse — AND – Environmental Abuse — on a larger scale. The ‘family’ is ‘humanity’and as my family of origin was never a safe place to be — I had already adopted “Humanity” as the family with whom I “belong.”
As a person born of vastly varied, multi-cultural heritages – I could see early on – that “tribalism” was a way to keep walls between people. Which is why I was a “global citizen” before that became a hashtag.
‘Born on the water,’ I’ve always felt – my “true heritage” – is water.
The two debating characters in my movie – “eVe” and “Doctor Goddard – are never – in the same room.
They are separated by “walls” – through which they “debate” – but their ultimate “union” is a form of “healing” … a little miracle.
SurFShackLoft™h20
Large Partof the purpose forthose Project – was my dedication to Sustainability + Green Practices.
My alarm at what’s happening to our planet – especiallyto our waters, ocean life, wildlife –all of which endanger human life + civilization, led me to take my own tiny climate- actionsvery early on.
In high school – I had designed a “SurFShackLoft™feMt0™studi0™h20 “ to be handbuilt very frugally – from biodegradable + upcycled materials.
Miraculously, this loft was built very economically – butequallyimportant – was combining that Sustainability Ethos – with my aesthetics + methodologies developed from early background in dance+theater – to create my signature style along with SustainableFilmSets™.
An added touch of sweetness came when i had asked my local farmers to donate lemons, avocados, kale and flowers, along with other produce – to the creation of our GardenOfeVe™ film set — and they were THRILLED to do so.
As I planned for the movie, I realized that while I don’t consider myself a “designer” – my script – born from story + music (the lyrics are written into my scripts) — but also from methodology + aesthetics, had already designed both sets + costumes.
I hadn’t intended to do this. It just created itself.
We built an “indoor garden” that looked as though a proverbial metaphorical “eVe” embodied by a contemporary – “surfer-chick-student-burlesque-dancer eVe” – had left somewhere in a hurry + quickly planted her own indoor ” victory garden” – out of survival.
This wasn’t fully autobiographical but it metaphorically mirrored my childhood.
Hard as it was to convey – not wanting to sound grandiose – I just knew in the heart of that little girl who survived with the aid of her dedication toward the arts + teachers encouraging her talent – that little girl (me) – her eyes – were witnessing – what ‘eVe’ in my movie refers to – as ‘an ancient grief’ – her precious ‘global family’ – was falling victim to ancient abuse.
In addition to a ” Coming Out ” this movie, this music is intended as a “Coming In From The Cold.”
All through the making of this project, I found myself fighting to save my studio and home in Venice Beach from the severe gentrification and homelessness growing all around me.
It was a familiar fight – against an unjust encroachment from abuse of power. Many times I found myself staying up all night figuring out legal documents, in order to fight back against Trump-style developers – while during the day – working to keep the project going.
A familiar struggle, reminiscent of a childhood framed with terror but propelled by hope and love. A childhood and adult-hood experienced by many less fortunate than myself.
Love.
It can heal everything.
I learned that early in life.
It’s odd, like me, earning a Masters’ degree (NYU) with no high-school diploma, having been skipped several grades directly into University. Odd – like me. My fellow students in the Masters’ program were already professors in other countries who had done all they could, to come to America, to study at NYU. I was a kid with no high school diploma – and they were grown-up professors. Odd, like me. I often think about them now, back in their countries and what they must think of America now.
Having survived an abusive childhood – I was dedicated to the arts and grateful for the “shelter” I could find in my deep love / passion for the arts and my teachers, who’d encouraged my work.
Dance was my first love – along with her twin – music. Then I discovered their sisters – theater and cinema. Along with the support of my teachers, these ladies “saved my life.”
Alone with my dreams, walking the pavement of NYC streets, afraid to go home on the subway until
late at night, I learned my craft comforted by the shelter of dance classes with Broadway Pros, art house cinema screens, and haunting legacy of timeless masterpieces echoing from the halls of every Manhattan museum and library.
My teachers were angels + allies in my “dreams come true” and thanks to them, and to my love – I won scholarships, was skipped grades and offered a scholarship to NYU where I earned my Masters’ Degree at a very young age.
One of my report cards described me as a “runaway imagination” and of course, I imagined my imagination running away and I myself became a “runaway with a scholarship.”
I caught a wave + scraped together my “half a shoestring” budget, built my tiny “green” grassroots, up-cycled, recycled, mostly “off the grid” floating film + music Tiny SurfLoft On The Water in Venice Beach, hand-picked my team + went to work !
I had saved up lemonade-stand, babysitting, yoga teacher + acting gig earnings and my hand-built studio and methodologies as a matter of following a course I had set, upon navigating my way from graduating with a Master’s Degree at an impossibly young age. There was a virtual drummer playing an indigenous soundtrack to my life and — I was listening and following the steps. The ocean was an important core for me and I had dedicated my artistry toward creating my own style of “AquaCulture.“
“HandMade 2 Make A Difference with ToyBoxTechnology ™ ”
Riding the subways alone at too young an age, doing all I could not to go home – I found myself “living at” all my dance classes in private studios on additional dance scholarships, then “living at” the museums and libraries of NYC – kept me busy, along with part-time babysitting and other jobs to pay for anythingscholarships didn’t cover.
So … I just … – never had time – to explore / learn about my own sexuality.
By the time I did learn about it – I was married to my much older male partner, and then BOOM – one day – I FELL — in love with a girl.
It felt CRAZY –
But it was also – BEYOND GREAT !
The LOVE I had for dance, and the arts – had now come full circle into bloom.
I was blooming.
My amazing male partner – reflected this too. He said – you are more YOU now.
I had a lot of figuring out to do.
First — I had to figure out – WHY – did I feel as though I was SUPPOSED to be upset?
I DID agonize about –
feel GUILTY about it —
but I HAD to ask – WHY?
That’s when it came to me – the title of one of the soundtrack songs + a work of art I released with the project :
“We Don’t Fall in Love, We Rise ™”
Little did I know how many times I would repeat that to myself + others.
We had a lot of figuring out to do. Luckily – I was and am still – married to an amazing human being.
Well, of course – I was growing up – growing into Me.
Along with this personal growth, came my awareness of what was happening in the 21st Century world at large.
My personal anguish into ecstasy and my growing deep concerns for the future of Humanity / Mother Earth as an “Endangered Species” became so agonizing – that my only way to deal with anxieties about what I saw happening to this planet in the 21st Century while I was literally “blooming” personally – was to speak up and speak out – doing what I do best.
Suddenly I KNEW that there were people who were experiencing the same “awakenings” about their sexuality but who were living in repressive cultures – and I wanted to reach out to them – to hear THEIR stories – and tell them it would be ok – share my experiences with them – when I first began visualizing this project in 2010.
So many of my posts regarding this project were aimed at persons who lived in other ( more repressive ) cultures and dictatorships.
And here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
Here – we – are.
2019.
A ” Coming Out ” and a “Coming In From The Cold.”
I hoped to release a “healing balm” for the “global family” – at the intersections of LGBTQIA communities and my growing concerns for inter-related social justice crises such as – reproductive rights / women’s rights, violence against LGBTQ and female communities, Indigenous People’s and Black Lives Matter and Climate Change / endangered species.
As intended – this movie, soundtrack and everything my feMt0™studi0 has been working on since inception in 2012 has already reached selected but passionate audiences from Los Angeles to Lagos, Uganda to Agra, Mali, to Manhattan —
My wish after graduating – was to create an international – inter-disciplinary – multi-gender – mixed orientation team – in order to reach domestic + global audiences, without the “Over-Lords” of corporate media, stifling the creativity my teachers had encouraged in me.
Much to my surprise – I got a bit of that wish with the limited releases of this project and my first Youtube music video “Election Train” leading up to the movie. I had taken some time from the creation of the movie – to make the music video in order to support Obama’s re-election.
I am REALLY WISHING that with an acknowledgement from YOU — that this project can TRAVEL FARTHER – and reach MANY MORE people who might be comforted by it’s message of acceptance and LOVE IS LOVE – along with being entertained by the work itself.
Creating high quality cinema and music – was of utmost importance along with the “message” of the story. Excellence and Craft is a must.
Lovers of Movies + Music as well as – Free-speech a Free-Press, Journalism + uh – Basic Freedoms of Democracy might do the Culture + the Planet ( ourselves ) a favor – if we simply support an authentic indie artisanal “maker” like myself and my team.
I’m not against big budget films – I often love them!
And – I’d like to find more opportunities to work in them as an actress – because the current system is one big roadblock.
Often , I liken my signature artisan-made process to “farm to table” + “Aquaculture.”
There’s a scene in Billy Wilder’s movie “Sabrina” where Audrey Hepburn as Sabrina , having been to the Sorbonne – is able to cobble together a feast – from just a few eggs + crackers + milk … – THAT’S my aesthetics …
Yes I’m mixing metaphors when I say I’m allowing the “AquaCulturalZ™ Oyster-Pearls to “vine-ripen” + then when we release a project – I aim to “nourish” through “pictures words music in motion ™” encouraging Audiences to :
Every day at my ocean studio – I send out RIPPLES on the water – wishing for love and peace in the world …
My most effective “Ripple” is this move, this album … –
I hope that your acknowledgement — will help this Ripple travel much farther than I can get it to go on my own …
It’s funny how sometimes we have to do what GingerRogers described along the lines of “dancing Backwards In High Heels ” – in order to move forward one step.
” and though she be but little, she is fierce ” – (Shakespeare )
this quote is invoked in one of my favorite true-life stories about the great ” seabiscuit ” – a story warming my heart from the very beginning of this journey with my own movie – Tiny Budgets + tiny teams – uphill climbs – hopes + dreams –
‘ She KNOWS she’s the Dark Horse here – but darkness she doesn’t fear
My process is based on my methodologies in my book ‘The Declaration Of IndiePenDance™’ where I explore my film-making+music-making approach – I call it c.lili™ ‘s CynAesthetiX™ and it includes a variety of innovations in cinematic+music aesthetics.
As a young actress who’s taken the time to respect the history / HERstory of my craft – from the craftspersons’ perspective – I know that ‘innovation’ rests upon the past + is a bridge to the future.
With My Sisters – For My Sisters : in my recent writings and explorations about feminism — I am finding it crucial for us to find out – not so much why men hurt women – but instead, why some women – hurt women –
including the fact that often, we women, hurt ourselves, it’s a vicious cycle – and by hurting our sisters, we are expressing our self hatred …
I explored this – but it was not until VERY recently that I fully understood the depth of how these incidents shape us from childhood, into our teenage years, school experiences and then –
importantly, as we enter the professional world and encounter the competitive forces from our sisters, which often lead women to do unspeakable things – things they write about and rail against as #feminists – but which they do to each other, sometimes unconsciously …
As we know, our work as feminists – and feminism can be fragile, as the world is often cruel to women who speak out, we often need each other — a form of Stockholm-Syndrome style bond out of necessity … so now the “famous feminists” can become the new bullies, having internalized the misogyny — perpetuating the predatory abuse of power — which is why I don’t often avail myself of friendships that are based in “need” or which arise out of hardships like global misogyny …
But there is a bond among us sisters and I always hold a wishful hope that women / girls I encounter will understand the need for true friendship, genuine caring, listening to each other — behaving towards our sisters in ways we wish to be treated … Unfortunately though, I’m going to say it here, and elsewhere – we often miss that mark.
I’m sorry to have to say it, sorrier to have experienced it, but damnit – we need to do better with each other. “Mean Girl Culture Cool” is often invoked when women / girls are acting all “empowered” – but of course that’s just stupid and self-defeating. We must do better.
Sisters – we really must. I offer the project below – which is the first in a trilogy on the subject. This project was a gift I made with my sisters, for my sisters all over the world. We might have been the first AllFemaleCrew as a production team – but we were certainly among the very first ever and I am certain we were a catalyst.
The Project is not easy to pigeonhole – and that’s true to form. I never wanted to make a movie I’ve already seen anywhere else.
One could describe this movie as :
A meditation on ‘male-gaze’ – ‘white-gaze’ – ‘mens-wear’ + other ‘ISMs’….
I offer it up and hope it reaches both Sisters and Brothers too –
Together – we really must GirlTheWorld™ – this is why I made this project – I believe this is how “we shall over-come” our challenges – the ISMS – racism, sexism, homophobia and including climate denial.
In 2012 I set out to make a sustainable, green, upcycled, lgbtqia , interracial love story – an – all- female-crew motion picture —
with — an original, eclectic soundtrack —
much of it to be shot + recorded on a floating film set
and surrounding Venice Beach “hood” near my “AquaCultureZ™ WaterGarden™ feMt0™studi0”
Upon graduating early with a Master’s Degree from NYU, then entering the life of a “working actress” I learned most roles offered to girls + women (except a lucky few) were too often broadcasting degrading messages about us.
I tried to “adjust” a couple of the early roles – to balance ‘ the power in the frame.’ Despite the content of any given dialogue or role, I worked to imbue the character with strength.
I was beginning to get offered somewhat lucrative roles, I was more than willing to work hard – “work my wayup.” The problem with that plan – is summarized by the “MeToo” movement, which is not just about inappropriate sexual innuendo, but psychological abuse leading to agony, resulting in self-doubt.
It’s also anEconomics problem, with roadblocks held in place by threads of racism, sexism , homophobia , climate-ignorance in a gate-keeping culture – when all I wanted was to excel in theprofession to which I’d dedicated myself whole-heartedly.
I’d been warned about this environment by older actors ( not actresses ) but assumed times had changed so I walked blindly into an environment reminiscent of a bygone era that had never updated it’s own “operating system.”
There I was with all this 21st Century software but there was nothing to run it.
How does a professional, work their way up such a slippery ladder? Perhaps economic inequality is sourced in such pathologies?
Until #MeToo became a hashtag – I’ll venture to guess that most women suffered under the weight of judgement by their families, friends and self-criticism about why they hadn’t progressed further despite their talent and drive. The worst part, is not being supported by “sisters” of a sorority I feel could be so comforting – and even worse, navigating a hyper-competitive “pigeons-for-scraps” culture based in scarcity where ideas and intellectual property can be so easily appropriated by those with power, harvested from those without.
I’ll venture to guess we all felt as though it was just happening to us alone. Similar to the “Occupancy Wall Street” awareness – when people realized that getting their degrees and working hard was not enough in an economy rigged for the 1 percent.
Even if I’d been willing to be willing on whatever levels of “consent” – I’d just come from surviving an abusive childhood – literally “rescued” by my passion for acting , dance, arts , learning – and my teachers who saw the talent, had invested their care in that little girl rushing through the streets of Manhattan – from dance class to acting class to anthropologyand science classrooms.
They’d invested their own passion for education – in that little girl – me.
I couldn’t let them down and I couldn’t let down other little girls who might someday see a movie that I was in – and when she sees me in that movie, she sees herself and when she sees herself, I want her to feel strong, not helpless. I want “her” to feel proud of “HERstory.”
After turning down three lucrative roles in a row, especially after bumping into one of the producers I’d turned down at a social event – noticing his “WHO are YOU to turn ME down glare ” –
I sucked it up – GLARED BACK with a smile –
and THAT was the moment I learned :
WHO I AM ? Is a girl who won’t get bullied – ever again.
Who I am – is a girl choosing integrity over expediency – no matter how ambitious I may be.
Ialso understood that it wasn’t “men” – it wasn’t “directors” or “producers” — it was the Culture at large.Certainly I’d run into plenty of women who had internalized misogyny to enact upon sisters and there was plenty of it in every profession. I had to find a way to work in my chosen profession, to which I had already dedicated – so I chose – to literally “be the change I wished to see” as the saying goes.
Having studied anthropology along with intercultural, interdisciplinary performance modalities – I felt uniquely equipped to grapple with these new insights – even though, they’d prove beyond challenging to implement. I’d be needing some miracles and tons of hard work integrating the education + early work experience I’d earned – with the realities of making a movie and album. A tall order.
I had saved up babysitting, lemonade stand, acting gigs and yoga teacher earnings and these were “startup funds” which I partly used to create our first music video “ElectionTrain” made in urgent support for Obama. Then we began pre-pre-production on the feature motion picture :
” I didn’t want to make a film or album that I’d already seen before.
I was aware that most noted ‘counter-culture’ revolutions in media had previously involved an examination but also ultimate glorification of violence + what is sometimes described as ‘toxic masculinity.’
The film prologue introduces my storytelling concepts which I’ve been referring to, as : “orgasmic” instead of “phallic.” I’m positing that my liquid, fluid, music-based, “orgasmic” storytelling journey to tell the “love-is-love-triangle-story” of eVe, Lila + Doctor Goddard – can exist in harmony with the more normative “phallic” cinematic storytelling styles most cultures expect in a narrative movie. While other directors have experimented with dabbling in it – I feel my movie, while working within the constraints of a modest budget, fully explores this type of storytelling, not with outer special effects, but with inner ones.
The movie draws us “under” and “into” the deep end of the pool, the pond, the ocean as if vacillating between conscious + unconscious time-space dimensions but always flowing like water (orgasmic) instead of rocketing into space (phallic) as “eVe” describes from “inside the closet.”
While I’m proud to say my film was made “like a girl” as that popular hashtag proudly proclaims – I’m almost tempted to ask the audience to consider my innovative storytelling “as if” this were directed by one of several guy filmmakers who’ve experimented this way, but with larger budgets but perhaps a bit less insight about the female nature of this “orgasmic” storytelling style which, in my work, seeks to flow poetic, liquid, music.
It is, in fact, I guarantee you, a different type of “orgasm.”
As my movie does include a theme + dedication to victims of violence against the LGBTQ community, women, black individuals + communities, indigenous individuals + communities … and … AND : our oceans, our mother Earth, wildlife – especially Sea-Life (most feminine) – I did portray an act of violence, but I was cognizant of telling the story of the movie in a manner I described onscreen as ‘orgasmic’ existing alongside most storytelling which is often “phallic.”
I posit that both ‘orgasmic’ + ‘phallic’ storytelling can ( and must ) exist inter-dependently in our Arts + Culture.
I found myself having to not only “shatter glass ceilings” + “break sound-barriers” – but I also had to “break” some storytelling / cinematic / music ‘ rules ‘ – in order to tell my ‘love-triangle’ ‘love-is-love – story’ : AUTHENTICALLY.
This wasn’t going to be structured like other movies – this “herstory” neededsomething from me + “she” is composed of the twin-Tao-yin-yang characters : “eVe” + “Lila.” “She” wrote herself, directed herself.
An all female, openly LGBTQIA crew in 2013 was VERY NEW (still rare) – if we were not ‘the first’ – we are definitely among the veryfirst –
Eyes widened whenever I floated the idea. Also pushback – pushed back — on a variety of levels.Sigh.
Some men “mansplained” – my idea was discriminatory. Others proudly displayed their self-hatred through open sexism, racism, homophobia, climate-denying biases, which was – briefly surprising but eventually – worthless, because hate, though ‘loud’ – is such a drab, useless – one way ticket.
Recently, I became aware of a “mini-genre” to which my “eVe” belongs – and by that I mean – movies which explore the internalized concepts of various religious “eves” – in the context of secular, colloquial (notbiblical)culture.
As my Master’s degree incorporated both Anthropology+ Performance Arts – I tend to “study” culture – even while I’m creating it.
I’ve noticed + personally experienced – the regulations + limitations placed on HER-stories – the ” ‘slut-shaming” of “eVe” ‘ – which has : palpable, real-life consequence for most women, girls, feminine males + wildlife(especially Sea-Life , most feminine) —with it’s victims buried deep in the roots of most cultures.
Shaming-eVe :
When looking “in the closet” of any given Culture – if we venture to explore past the climate-denial, past homophobia and racism – we’ll find misogyny – hiding – way – WAY … at the back of that closet – where most of us, even women, are unaware of the insidious odor seeping deep :
All that “femme” – is feared by the toxic entity which has hounded Humanity for eons – I’ll name it here : “that which believes it must control others or die.” That toxin can be presentin women too.
My “eVe” spends a good bit of the movie “trapped” indoors and she wisely uses some of that time – exploring the “closet.”
Those espousing hateful views towards people – or environmental conservancy – often cite economics + productivity as excuses for exclusionary actions. In fact, hate, exclusion + climate denial are completely – un-productivefor society + for the planet.
It’s pure economics if one needs that sort of excuse. Discriminatory, hateful, wasteful energy create nothing except toxins + problems .
We already have a surplus of those.
This planet needs solutions that heal our problems. More than ever I believe education + quality communication skills are the universal “solvent” whereby wecan dissolve + detoxify globalcultures from such maladies.
– surviving independently, indigenous + sustainable – like an endangered species ( along with all other endangered species wildlife, Sea-Life, and the working class / middle class in every economy ) – on gasps of oxygen –
we are hand-made – on sustainable half-a- shoestring budgets – I’m hoping that the Academy considers my written request to create a new category for this budget level –
hand-made by an artist – with a crew of fellow artists + craftspersons (not a corporation) positing this idea :
Just after graduating at an impossibly early age, having been skipped several grades, earned scholarships to pay my own tuition- with a Master’sDegree but no high school diploma – i stepped out into the “real world” only to discover that the “ISMs” I had believed to be “anachronISMs” – from history books – racism, sexism, homophobia , climate denial – the “male gaze” – the “white gaze ” + other “gazes” – were still alive and finding their way back , insidiously, into our world consciousness, our current histories + HERstories.
The HERstory that we are living now – became a source of great worry to me. I had survived an abusive childhood + I know abuse when I see it.
Abuse of Power exhibited all the tell-tale signatures of Domestic Abuse, Child-Abuse — AND – Environmental Abuse — on a larger scale. The ‘family’ is ‘humanity’and as my family of origin was never a safe place to be — I had already adopted “Humanity” as the family with whom I “belong.”
As a person born of vastly varied, multi-cultural heritages – I could see early on – that “tribalism” was a way to keep walls between people. Which is why I was a “global citizen” before that became a hashtag.
‘Born on the water,’ I’ve always felt – my “true heritage” – is water.
The two debating characters in my movie – “eVe” and “Doctor Goddard – are never – in the same room.
They are separated by “walls” – through which they “debate” – but their ultimate “union” is a form of “healing” … a little miracle.
SurFShackLoft™h20
Large Partof the purpose forthose Project – was my dedication to Sustainability + Green Practices.
My alarm at what’s happening to our planet – especiallyto our waters, ocean life, wildlife –all of which endanger human life + civilization, led me to take my own tiny climate- actionsvery early on.
In high school – I had designed a “SurFShackLoft™feMt0™studi0™h20 “ to be handbuilt very frugally – from biodegradable + upcycled materials.
Miraculously, this loft was built very economically – butequallyimportant – was combining that Sustainability Ethos – with my aesthetics + methodologies developed from early background in dance+theater – to create my signature style along with SustainableFilmSets™.
An added touch of sweetness came when i had asked my local farmers to donate lemons, avocados, kale and flowers, along with other produce – to the creation of our GardenOfeVe™ film set — and they were THRILLED to do so.
As I planned for the movie, I realized that while I don’t consider myself a “designer” – my script – born from story + music (the lyrics are written into my scripts) — but also from methodology + aesthetics, had already designed both sets + costumes.
I hadn’t intended to do this. It just created itself.
We built an “indoor garden” that looked as though a proverbial metaphorical “eVe” embodied by a contemporary – “surfer-chick-student-burlesque-dancer eVe” – had left somewhere in a hurry + quickly planted her own indoor ” victory garden” – out of survival.
This wasn’t fully autobiographical but it metaphorically mirrored my childhood.
Hard as it was to convey – not wanting to sound grandiose – I just knew in the heart of that little girl who survived with the aid of her dedication toward the arts + teachers encouraging her talent – that little girl (me) – her eyes – were witnessing – what ‘eVe’ in my movie refers to – as ‘an ancient grief’ – her precious ‘global family’ – was falling victim to ancient abuse.
In addition to a ” Coming Out ” this movie, this music is intended as a “Coming In From The Cold.”
All through the making of this project, I found myself fighting to save my studio and home in Venice Beach from the severe gentrification and homelessness growing all around me.
It was a familiar fight – against an unjust encroachment from abuse of power. Many times I found myself staying up all night figuring out legal documents, in order to fight back against Trump-style developers – while during the day – working to keep the project going.
A familiar struggle, reminiscent of a childhood framed with terror but propelled by hope and love. A childhood and adult-hood experienced by many less fortunate than myself.
Love.
It can heal everything.
I learned that early in life.
It’s odd, like me, earning a Masters’ degree (NYU) with no high-school diploma, having been skipped several grades directly into University. Odd – like me. My fellow students in the Masters’ program were already professors in other countries who had done all they could, to come to America, to study at NYU. I was a kid with no high school diploma – and they were grown-up professors. Odd, like me. I often think about them now, back in their countries and what they must think of America now.
Having survived an abusive childhood – I was dedicated to the arts and grateful for the “shelter” I could find in my deep love / passion for the arts and my teachers, who’d encouraged my work.
Dance was my first love – along with her twin – music. Then I discovered their sisters – theater and cinema. Along with the support of my teachers, these ladies “saved my life.”
Alone with my dreams, walking the pavement of NYC streets, afraid to go home on the subway until
late at night, I learned my craft comforted by the shelter of dance classes with Broadway Pros, art house cinema screens, and haunting legacy of timeless masterpieces echoing from the halls of every Manhattan museum and library.
My teachers were angels + allies in my “dreams come true” and thanks to them, and to my love – I won scholarships, was skipped grades and offered a scholarship to NYU where I earned my Masters’ Degree at a very young age.
One of my report cards described me as a “runaway imagination” and of course, I imagined my imagination running away and I myself became a “runaway with a scholarship.”
I caught a wave + scraped together my “half a shoestring” budget, built my tiny “green” grassroots, up-cycled, recycled, mostly “off the grid” floating film + music Tiny SurfLoft On The Water in Venice Beach, hand-picked my team + went to work !
I had saved up lemonade-stand, babysitting, yoga teacher + acting gig earnings and my hand-built studio and methodologies as a matter of following a course I had set, upon navigating my way from graduating with a Master’s Degree at an impossibly young age. There was a virtual drummer playing an indigenous soundtrack to my life and — I was listening and following the steps. The ocean was an important core for me and I had dedicated my artistry toward creating my own style of “AquaCulture.“
“HandMade 2 Make A Difference with ToyBoxTechnology ™ ”
Riding the subways alone at too young an age, doing all I could not to go home – I found myself “living at” all my dance classes in private studios on additional dance scholarships, then “living at” the museums and libraries of NYC – kept me busy, along with part-time babysitting and other jobs to pay for anythingscholarships didn’t cover.
So … I just … – never had time – to explore / learn about my own sexuality.
By the time I did learn about it – I was married to my much older male partner, and then BOOM – one day – I FELL — in love with a girl.
It felt CRAZY –
But it was also – BEYOND GREAT !
The LOVE I had for dance, and the arts – had now come full circle into bloom.
I was blooming.
My amazing male partner – reflected this too. He said – you are more YOU now.
I had a lot of figuring out to do.
First — I had to figure out – WHY – did I feel as though I was SUPPOSED to be upset?
I DID agonize about –
feel GUILTY about it —
but I HAD to ask – WHY?
That’s when it came to me – the title of one of the soundtrack songs + a work of art I released with the project :
“We Don’t Fall in Love, We Rise ™”
Little did I know how many times I would repeat that to myself + others.
We had a lot of figuring out to do. Luckily – I was and am still – married to an amazing human being.
Well, of course – I was growing up – growing into Me.
Along with this personal growth, came my awareness of what was happening in the 21st Century world at large.
My personal anguish into ecstasy and my growing deep concerns for the future of Humanity / Mother Earth as an “Endangered Species” became so agonizing – that my only way to deal with anxieties about what I saw happening to this planet in the 21st Century while I was literally “blooming” personally – was to speak up and speak out – doing what I do best.
Suddenly I KNEW that there were people who were experiencing the same “awakenings” about their sexuality but who were living in repressive cultures – and I wanted to reach out to them – to hear THEIR stories – and tell them it would be ok – share my experiences with them – when I first began visualizing this project in 2010.
So many of my posts regarding this project were aimed at persons who lived in other ( more repressive ) cultures and dictatorships.
And here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
Here – we – are.
2019.
A ” Coming Out ” and a “Coming In From The Cold.”
I hoped to release a “healing balm” for the “global family” – at the intersections of LGBTQIA communities and my growing concerns for inter-related social justice crises such as – reproductive rights / women’s rights, violence against LGBTQ and female communities, Indigenous People’s and Black Lives Matter and Climate Change / endangered species.
As intended – this movie, soundtrack and everything my feMt0™studi0 has been working on since inception in 2012 has already reached selected but passionate audiences from Los Angeles to Lagos, Uganda to Agra, Mali, to Manhattan —
My wish after graduating – was to create an international – inter-disciplinary – multi-gender – mixed orientation team – in order to reach domestic + global audiences, without the “Over-Lords” of corporate media, stifling the creativity my teachers had encouraged in me.
Much to my surprise – I got a bit of that wish with the limited releases of this project and my first Youtube music video “Election Train” leading up to the movie. I had taken some time from the creation of the movie – to make the music video in order to support Obama’s re-election.
I am REALLY WISHING that with an acknowledgement from YOU — that this project can TRAVEL FARTHER – and reach MANY MORE people who might be comforted by it’s message of acceptance and LOVE IS LOVE – along with being entertained by the work itself.
Creating high quality cinema and music – was of utmost importance along with the “message” of the story. Excellence and Craft is a must.
Lovers of Movies + Music as well as – Free-speech a Free-Press, Journalism + uh – Basic Freedoms of Democracy might do the Culture + the Planet ( ourselves ) a favor – if we simply support an authentic indie artisanal “maker” like myself and my team.
I’m not against big budget films – I often love them!
And – I’d like to find more opportunities to work in them as an actress – because the current system is one big roadblock.
Often , I liken my signature artisan-made process to “farm to table” + “Aquaculture.”
There’s a scene in Billy Wilder’s movie “Sabrina” where Audrey Hepburn as Sabrina , having been to the Sorbonne – is able to cobble together a feast – from just a few eggs + crackers + milk … – THAT’S my aesthetics …
Yes I’m mixing metaphors when I say I’m allowing the “AquaCulturalZ™ Oyster-Pearls to “vine-ripen” + then when we release a project – I aim to “nourish” through “pictures words music in motion ™” encouraging Audiences to :
Every day at my ocean studio – I send out RIPPLES on the water – wishing for love and peace in the world …
My most effective “Ripple” is this move, this album … –
I hope that your acknowledgement — will help this Ripple travel much farther than I can get it to go on my own …
It’s funny how sometimes we have to do what GingerRogers described along the lines of “dancing Backwards In High Heels ” – in order to move forward one step.
” and though she be but little, she is fierce ” – (Shakespeare )
this quote is invoked in one of my favorite true-life stories about the great ” seabiscuit ” – a story warming my heart from the very beginning of this journey with my own movie – Tiny Budgets + tiny teams – uphill climbs – hopes + dreams –
‘ She KNOWS she’s the Dark Horse here – but darkness she doesn’t fear
My process is based on my methodologies in my book ‘The Declaration Of IndiePenDance™’ where I explore my film-making+music-making approach – I call it c.lili™ ‘s CynAesthetiX™ and it includes a variety of innovations in cinematic+music aesthetics.
As a young actress who’s taken the time to respect the history / HERstory of my craft – from the craftspersons’ perspective – I know that ‘innovation’ rests upon the past + is a bridge to the future.
With My Sisters – For My Sisters : in my recent writings and explorations about feminism — I am finding it crucial for us to find out – not so much why men hurt women – but instead, why some women – hurt women –
including the fact that often, we women, hurt ourselves, it’s a vicious cycle – and by hurting our sisters, we are expressing our self hatred …
I explored this – but it was not until VERY recently that I fully understood the depth of how these incidents shape us from childhood, into our teenage years, school experiences and then –
importantly, as we enter the professional world and encounter the competitive forces from our sisters, which often lead women to do unspeakable things – things they write about and rail against as #feminists – but which they do to each other, sometimes unconsciously …
As we know, our work as feminists – and feminism can be fragile, as the world is often cruel to women who speak out, we often need each other — a form of Stockholm-Syndrome style bond out of necessity … so now the “famous feminists” can become the new bullies, having internalized the misogyny — perpetuating the predatory abuse of power — which is why I don’t often avail myself of friendships that are based in “need” or which arise out of hardships like global misogyny …
But there is a bond among us sisters and I always hold a wishful hope that women / girls I encounter will understand the need for true friendship, genuine caring, listening to each other — behaving towards our sisters in ways we wish to be treated … Unfortunately though, I’m going to say it here, and elsewhere – we often miss that mark.
I’m sorry to have to say it, sorrier to have experienced it, but damnit – we need to do better with each other. “Mean Girl Culture Cool” is often invoked when women / girls are acting all “empowered” – but of course that’s just stupid and self-defeating. We must do better.
Sisters – we really must. I offer the project below – which is the first in a trilogy on the subject. This project was a gift I made with my sisters, for my sisters all over the world. We might have been the first AllFemaleCrew as a production team – but we were certainly among the very first ever and I am certain we were a catalyst.
The Project is not easy to pigeonhole – and that’s true to form. I never wanted to make a movie I’ve already seen anywhere else.
One could describe this movie as :
A meditation on ‘male-gaze’ – ‘white-gaze’ – ‘mens-wear’ + other ‘ISMs’….
I offer it up and hope it reaches both Sisters and Brothers too –
Together – we really must GirlTheWorld™ – this is why I made this project – I believe this is how “we shall over-come” our challenges – the ISMS – racism, sexism, homophobia and including climate denial.
Cali Lili Indies™🏝 PicturesWordsMusicInMotion™🎬🎧 femt0™studi0🏄🏽♀️🏄🏼♀️🏄🏿♀️ CuttingEdgeOfThePacific™🦀 ©CaliLili™AllRightsReserved 
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